Love & Secrets
by MinaWritesSlash
Summary: ON HIATUS! An unexpected encounter, blossoming cherry trees, stunning blue eyes, and a stolen kiss. Will love be enough for Edward, to cast aside social conventions and family expectations, to be with the one he loves? ALL EPOV/OOC.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. ****Ms. Meyer owns Twilight and all of its characters, no copyright violation is intended. References to real places and groups are used fictitiously. The plot is inspired by my very active imagination and a very weird dream I had once. Therefore is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization**_**.**_**  
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***waves* ****I would like to welcome you ****all to my new fic! This is a complete different story from TPG. ****If you are NOT into non-canon and Slash, DON'T READ!**

**But if you are, then I welcome you with open arms**** and I hope you like it.*****crosses fingers***

**BIG THANKS TO MY WONDERFUL BETAS LaMomo & ****Eifeltwr. YOU GIRLS ROCK!**

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><p><em><strong>LOVE &amp; SECRETS: PROLOGUE<strong>_

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><p><em>I understand.<em>

I had always known somewhere in my heart, that the two of us could not be together for long. That our time was borrowed. That it couldn't last.

_Take care._

I feared that WE could not be forever and that this day was going to come.

Were we naïve to believe that our love could be everything for us, that we could be like this, in spite of all social conventions and family expectations, together and in love?

_I understand._

You seemed to hesitate a lot lately. Always trying to say something to me, but you'd stop yourself before saying anything at all.

Did you know then?

Was that the reason why your were distancing himself from me?

Why your touch, once warm and protective, became cold and hesitant?

_Take care._

Why?

Why would you say those things?

Did you not hear me promise you I'd always be by your side, to be there for you when no one else even cared, to be your rock, to hold your hand, and to be yours forever… only YOURS?

_I understand._

No.

No.

NO.

I had to be there.

With you.

I would always be there for you, by your side, with my head held high and holding your hand.

I knew what I was getting myself into when I met you that beautiful day. In spite of what people may think, I was not naïve or stupid. It wasn't on a whim or out of curiosity that I came to you.

I knew, even then, that what I felt for you was more than just an attraction or crush.

_Take care._

It was more. It had always been _MORE_.

Ever since I saw those beautiful blue-gray eyes of yours.

I drowned, deep, never to resurface. I didn't want the surface, I wanted you.

All of you.

Forever.

…

My hands fisted on my lap and started to shake, my eyes were sealed shut and a sob ripped through my chest. Your name escaped from my lips in an agonizing whisper.

"Carlisle…"

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><p><strong>There is more to come. <strong>**I promise!**

**I just finished creating my own blog! Go check it out for teasers, outfits, pictures and more! ****Link is on my profile.**

**What do you think about the story? L****eave a word or two, even a smiley would be fine!**

**xoxo**

**Mina**


	2. Chapter 1: Pilgrim

**Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Ms. Meyer owns Twilight and all of its characters, no copyright violation is intended. References to real places and groups are used fictitiously. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my**** express written authorization.**

**WARNING:  
>This story contains strong language and very strong sexual themes that some readers may find offensive. Please do not read this if you are sensitive to such material or if you are under 18. Thank you.<strong>

_**A big, sloppy, hot, wet kiss to my beta Eifeltwr, for her help with the little juicy moment ahead. And to my other beta LaMomo, I give you a big, tight hug for all your compliments and for fixing my tenses;**__** I screwed up with those a lot. This chapter is dedicated to Domwards Playgirl. All Japanese and eastern cuisine knowledge comes from her. Thank you, Annie, for your help!**_

_**THANK YOU LADIES! LOVE YA TO BITS!**_

_**Hope you like this chapter! Meet ya at the end!**_

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 1: Pilgrim<strong>

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><p>"Sorry, son, but we just missed the train."<p>

"Yeah, that's fine, mom."

Great! Another day I'd have to spend completely alone in a foreign city.

_Like that was any different from the norm,_ I thought bitterly.

I hadn't seen my parents in eight months, so when they sent me the tickets to meet them across the world and spend my spring break with them, I thought it was going to be amazing. Little did I know, that work and meetings were scheduled for both of them, and now they had missed their last train back to the city from wherever it was that they were filming.

My parents, Elizabeth and Edward Masen Sr., were the most famous and respected Hollywood couple in the world. My dad's work as film director earned him the praises of some of the toughest critics in the business. He was always being contacted by major production companies to direct or produce the next big blockbuster or the next best film. My mother, Liz, was a world acclaimed actress. With two Oscars at her early age of 38, she had become one of the most sought out actresses, and her face was plastered on every single magazine, from tabloids to fashion editorials. Forbes named them that year's most powerful and influential couple in the world.

And then there was little, normal, boring me. I was eighteen, going-on-nineteen, and the paparazzi kept following me everywhere, just because of who my parents were. They kept pestering me and my friends, waiting to catch me drinking and doing drugs, and if they didn't, they simply airbrushed the pictures with the material they had gotten! One time there was a family barbecue at my godfather's house. I had a half full glass of iced tea in my hand, I tripped a little coming down the back porch steps, laughed at my own clumsiness and then went back to talk to my friends. Next day, pictures of me on those steps were plastered on the covers of tabloids with headlines like: _"MASEN'S SON DISCOVERED TRASHED BY HIS PARENTS" _or_ "EDWARD Jr. GOES TO DETOX AGAIN!"_

Ridiculous!

And then there was the press and their constant line of questioning: _"Junior, will you become a director like your father or an actor like your mother?", "Eddie! There is a casting for that new teen movie coming up, would you be competing for the role?"_ and so on, and on, and on.

GAH! When were these people finally going to understand that I didn't want anything to do with Hollywood? Was it so hard to comprehend that I wanted something else besides being famous or having my face in every single magazine?

My thoughts were interrupted by my mother's sweet voice coming from the other end of the line.

"We are really sorry, honey. Why don't you go take a look around? You are in Tokyo after all!"

"That's a good idea, mom. I guess I'll see you both tonight at the hotel?"

I looked around the parking lot of the restaurant where we were supposed to meet for lunch. Zipangu was a stylish restaurant that belonged to Nadaman, one of the most revered traditional Japanese restaurants in the country. Their approach was to combine Western influences with Nadaman's cuisine to create contemporary Japanese food that paired with wine.

I was so excited to come here.

Food was my passion. Ever since I could remember, I loved to cook.

Every time my parents needed to travel during my school year because of their work, I was left in the care of Nana Marie, Bella's grandmother. Bella was my best friend since elementary school, so we always had a blast with Nana Marie. She always took Bella and me to the food market in NY during those times to explore and learn all about the food there.

Nana Marie used to be a famous chef and loved to combine different tastes from around the world. She saw, smelled, touched, inspected and tried every spice, fruit, and vegetable that was within her reach. She included me in her quests to find the perfect set of spices to accompany any meat, fish, or vegetable that was being cooked for dinner. She never used cooking books, not even her own, and was always creating or reinventing dishes.

She passed away last summer.

One of the things that she never had the chance to do was to learn how to make sushi. So, in honor of her memory, Bella and I enrolled in a class. Bella had inherited her grandmother's gift for food; it was almost like watching a painter creating a masterpiece whenever she was in the kitchen, even if it was something so mundane as spaghetti and meatballs. We had so much fun in that class that when my parents told me I could spend spring break in Japan with them, Bella made me swear over my favorite set of knives that I'd at least walk outside of Zipangu.

I had become obsessed with eastern cuisine since that sushi class. Bella and I had our hearts set into opening our own restaurant after we went to The Culinary Institute of America. She would focus on western cuisine, and I would learn about eastern cuisine. We even had the name of the restaurant, _Marie's_. It was simple and to the point. We didn't need a fancy and complicated name. It was a tribute to the woman who taught us the art of cooking and the beauty of creating a dish from scratch.

With a sad sigh, I turned around and walked down the sidewalk, back to the car. I saw my driver, Mao, standing next to it, reading the newspaper. I waved him over and told him there was a change of plans and that I was leaving. He nodded, opened the car and we both got in.

I would first have to talk to the manager and ask her to make another reservation at Zipangu for tomorrow. I'm sure there would be no problem; it was one of the occasional perks of having famous parents. I vowed to not leave Japan without at least drinking a glass of water from that restaurant!

"We'll be back in Tokyo by tomorrow morning. Let Mao give you a ride, he knows the city like the back of his hand," said my mother after hearing me talk to Mao.

Mao started driving back to the hotel, and as I looked out the window, I tried to some up with things I could do this afternoon by myself.

"Well, it's a beautiful day and I wanted to go to the food district," I commented.

When computer geeks came to Japan, they head toward the electronics neighborhood called Akihabara. But when food freaks, like me, visited Tokyo, their destination was Kappabashi-dori, a mile-plus-long street sporting several dozen stores that carried all manner of kitchenware and food.

When I had the chance to travel to other countries, thanks to my parent's choice of career, I always wanted to get as close to real life as possible, which usually meant anything connected with food - groceries and markets, houseware stores and places that sell restaurant goods. Kappabashi was a Mecca for me, the perfect peephole through which I could view the wonderfully evocative details of Tokyo's everyday life.

The closest subway stop to Kappabashi was Tawaramachi Station on the Subway Ginza Line. I was close to Nagatacho Station on the Subway Hanzomon Line. The subway map I carried with me was no help, and apparently I needed to go all the way to Shibuya to get into the Ginza line. Yeah, better get Mao to take me to Kappabashi if I wanted to get there today, and then I could go back to the hotel on my own.

"Well, then, that sounds like a day trip for you," my mom exclaimed over the phone, noticing my excitement over going to a food street. I heard some movement over the line and then I heard my father's voice sounding a little tired, "Just don't buy any food you won't consume during the week, I don't want problems with customs over some illegal cabbage that is supposed to be like a national treasure or some shit."

"_TED! Give me back the phone!" _I heard my mother yell at my father over the line.

My father laughed. "Be careful, Junior. Take Mao with you, and for God's sake don't drink anything suspicious in a glass if you can help it," he snickered.

I groaned. He would never let that episode go. He still asked me, whenever we were amongst his friends, if the last weekend was my sixth or eighth time I went to rehab just to spite me.

"We will see you tomorrow for breakfast. I want you to meet your uncle," said my father.

"Uncle?"

Last time I checked, both of my parents didn't have any siblings.

"Yeah, Uncle C. Remember, from London? He is here in Japan for… um… some medical conference or something."

Oh yeah… Uncle C. He was that doctor who helped my dad during a shoot in London about five years ago. He told me he was a really cool guy, twelve years younger than him, and that he came to the set, by my father's request, and spent the entire day watching over my mom after she twisted her ankle while filming a stunt scene.

He earned my father's respect and friendship that day.

The most important persons in Ted Masen's life were my mother and I. He always told us that, and if one person was capable to miss a day of work in order to comply with a crazy man's request, then he was more than fine to be part of the Masen Family.

"Right, Uncle C. Then I'll see you both _and_ Uncle C tomorrow at breakfast."

"And no boys!" Exclaimed my father right before my mom snatched the phone from him.

I groaned again. Why did he insist on picking on me? I knew this would happen when I came out to them. I was not scared of being rejected for my sexual preferences like most gay sixteen years old were; I was scared of all the teasing that would come from both my parents and Emmet, Bella's twin.

I was twelve years old when I started noticing boys over girls. And after Bella and Emmett's fourteenth birthday party, where I kissed Kate Brandon in a game of spin the bottle, I knew girls weren't my thing.

I went to Bella to tell her this and asked for advice. She laughed in my face, and told me it was about freaking time I realized it. She had me figured out ever since a beach trip we took when we were thirteen years old. Apparently, I was the only guy who didn't get a woody when her bikini top fell after Jacob, her eternal on-and-off boyfriend, tossed her into the sea.

I was shocked by her explanation and gaped at her during the entire conversation. She just patted my head, kissed my forehead and raised her fist as a sign of support.

My life was a ridiculous event after another.

"Don't listen to your father, Edward. He is in a prissy mood," my mother said, taking a jab at him. "Be careful and call us if you need anything. Love you, Teddy."

"Love you too, mom. Tell Dad I'll try to not throw an orgy in the hotel suit." I chuckled.

"HA! Will do, honey. See you tomorrow!" She said right before she disconnected the call.

And with that, I was left to explore the city's food district with Mao's help.

"Fucking great! This is just fucking perfect!" I spat as I came back to the same damn street I'd been trying to get out of for the last two hours.

Kappabashi was pretty easy to navigate. The majority of the stores were lined along the main street. Some shops catered exclusively to professional restaurants, selling bar stools, restaurant uniforms and industrial-sized equipment. Then, there were those selling kitchen gadgets - from intricate vegetable cutters to wooden molds for Japanese sweets. And of course there was a huge selection of realistic food models such as sushi, yakitori, and bowls of ramen.

One of the shop owners was impressed with my lack of accent while speaking in fluent Japanese (I sent a mental thank you to Miss Annabelle, my Japanese tutor), and he asked me to come to his home to enjoy a traditional Japanese lunch with his family. I thought he was trying to set me up with his fourteen year old daughter. Too bad that his twenty two year old son was smoking hot, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of his lips during the entire lunch.

_God bless chopsticks and miso soup!_

I sighed.

Takumi-kun (he asked to use 'kun' instead of 'san') was hot, smart and charming. He spoke to me in English, and I was surprised to hear him speak with a slight English accent. He told me most of his English teachers in high school were British, hence his little accent. He asked a bunch of questions about me and my trip to Japan, but I refrained from mentioning my family or even my last name. I didn't want that kind of attention.

As I was leaving, Takumi-kun offered to escort me back to Kappabashi. As we walked he gave me his phone number, and made me promise to meet him for some drinks before I left for America.

I thought for sure that there was no way that he could be gay, until we were almost at the end of the street right before entering Kappabashi, with one hand he cupped my face and whispered in my ear, "Can't wait to see your cheeks flush and your lips wet from drinking warm traditional sake". He kissed the spot behind my ear, winked and walked back to his house leaving me frozen on my spot, completely speechless and hornier than ever.

_I guess I need to check my gaydar's batteries,_ I snickered to myself.

Yeah, that was fun. Until I realized that while my head was in the clouds imagining Takumi's lips all over me, I had taken the wrong turn, and I had no freaking clue where in the hell I was. To make matters worse, my cell phone died on me as I was calling for Mao to pick me up.

"Argh!" I screamed in frustration when, for the fifth time, I came back to the same alley. I was walking in damn circles! This place was like a maze, all I could see were houses after houses and no sight of the main street.

_"Meow!"_

"FUCK!" I screamed again at a damn cat that scared the shit out of me. When I turned to find it, I yelped again in surprise. The shitty cat was eye level with me and was staring straight at me. I noticed it was sitting on some steps to the right of where I was standing. The cat cocked his head to the side and then I was able to see its eyes.

_OH. MY. GOD_

Coolest cat I had ever seen. He had a blue eye and a green eye. It was amazing. Its fur was pristine white with brown spots on its head and back, and its tail had a black spot on its tip. It looked well taken care of. Walking closer to it, I noticed he had a name tag dangling from its collar. Slowly, as to not spook him, I reached out and took it in my arms. Thankfully, this cat was pretty docile.

"Are you lost like I am, little buddy?" I asked. I cradled him on my left arm while I reached to read the name tag, _Pilgrim_.

"Are you a traveler, too?" I asked the cat. He simply looked at me as if to say: '_Why are you talking to me? I'm a cat! I can't speak!'_

I sighed. I knew I should have listened to my father and taken Mao with me. I would have been back at the hotel by now, enjoying a pizza and watching samurai movies. Or probably I would have called Takumi and went out with him.

I sure liked that last idea...

But here I was, lost, hungry and fucking tired, with a lost cat to boot. I looked at the cat in my arms and scratched his little head. He purred in appreciation, but then started squirming and jumped from me and went up the steps from where I had grabbed him.

"Hey! Wait up! I need to see your tag for your address." I ran up the stairs after him, at the top of the steps there was a small, open gate. I went through it to a narrow and dark corridor. I saw Pilgrim walk ahead of me. I crept towards him, trying to be sneaky so I could grab him quickly, but the fucker saw me coming and sprinted into a run. I ran after him, again, through another gate and entered a small traditional Japanese garden.

Pilgrim jumped over a concrete bench and climbed the cherry tree that was off to the side across a small pond. I was scared that someone might see me, so I crouched down and hastily went to the tree. The fucker was on a branch looking down on me and was frozen on the spot. Of course, he'd climbed the fucking tree and now he had no clue how to get down.

"_Fucker_," I whisper-hissed at him.

I climbed the tree, not so gracefully might I add, and when I was one branch beneath him, the little shit jumped.

"PILGRIM!" I heard someone yell.

I froze.

_Shit! I'm gonna be in so much trouble!_

"You scared me, my dear friend. I guess I fell asleep on you," said a man with thick English accent, and then a beautiful rich baritone laugh rang out from the other side of the tree. I looked down, to get a better look at the source of that rich voice, and saw a man standing up with Pilgrim, the fucker, on his shoulder. In that same moment I slipped from the branch and cut my hand. I yelped in pain and landed on my ass on the ground.

"Shit!" I hissed. My hand was on fire! I saw a small gash of blood pooling on my palm and tried not to get sick at the sight of it. I was feeling a little faint when I heard the same warm voice speak again.

"Are you alright?"

I lifted my eyes from the palm of my hand to see who asked me that question, and I found myself frozen in place and completely speechless for the second time today.

There, in front of me, was the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my short eighteen years of life. He was crouched down balancing his weight on the balls of his feet, his elbows rested gracefully on his thighs, with his hands clasped together loosely and his head cocked to the side.

I stared at his face; because that was the only thing I could do at the moment, and saw him smirking. His plump pink lips were stretched showing a small dimple to the side. His jaw was squared and chiseled, though I was pretty sure he was in his mid-twenties, the five o'clock shadow made him look older.

He was very tall, at least half a foot taller than me, and well built without looking bulky. His skin was pale white, but his cheeks appeared to be kissed by the sun giving a peach tint to them. Peaches and cream was the best way I could think of how to describe his skin tone. His straight nose reminded me of those Greek statues I saw on a trip to the Met a few years ago. His hair was a golden brown that suited him perfectly, but against the sun it looked more blond than brown. He had a pair of dark Ray Bans that made him look like movie star complimenting his casual attire of a stripped button-down shirt, washed-out jeans and black-and-white Nikes. He finished his look with a long black cashmere coat that seemed to be costume fitted.

In other words, this man was _fuck-hot_ gorgeous.

As I took inventory of his face, he removed his sunglasses, and what was behind them made my breath hitch in my throat, my pulse quicken and my jeans strain to maintain the massive erection, I was suddenly sporting. I drowned in the depths of his large blue-grey eyes; they were shining with amusement and a kind of intensity I had never seen in my life. I couldn't look away; I was rooted on my spot, lost myself in the depths of his eyes. I was falling, with no desire to be caught, but by the man right in front of me.

"Um…," was my brilliant answer to his question, but the sight of his eyes had pretty much melted my brain, leaving all capacity of articulating a response out of the equation.

He chuckled, and the sound made my chest warm, and my nether regions even harder.

I couldn't fucking believe that the sound of his voice alone would get this kind of reaction out of me. This had never happened to me before, not even with my ex-boyfriend who'd dumped me for a foreign exchange student.

He smirked. "Would you mind telling me, what were you doing climbing a tree on private property?" he asked, and I couldn't help but notice how hot his accent was.

"Umm… the shi-, um, c-c-cat was s-s-stuck. I-I helped?" I stammered. I mentally face palmed myself.

Twelve years of private education with the best teachers in the country, plus two foreign language tutors and one piano teacher, and I answered a question with another question.

My IQ just dropped fifty points.

God, could I be any lamer?

_What was this man doing to me?_

He chuckled. "Well, thank you for helping Pilgrim," he said and then looked back at the tree where Pilgrim, the fucker, was now sleeping comfortably on the ground. "I'm sure he appreciates your valiant effort," he said sarcastically.

"Uh huh," was my brilliant comeback. I tried to stand, but I forgot about my injured hand and tried to support my weight on it, making me hiss from the burn and pain.

The blond hottie, as I cleverly named him, noticed my discomfort and reached out and grabbed my wrist to inspect the wound. "This is a very nasty cut you got here. Did you cut yourself with the tree branch?" He asked while he took out a white handkerchief from him coat pocket and started dabbing at the wound.

I simply nodded because I was mesmerized by his look of concentration while he was cleaning my wound. His touch was soft but secure. He didn't even inflict me any pain.

He noticed my staring and smiled tenderly. "I don't see any splinters in the wound, but you should get it cleaned and put on a bandage to avoid an infection."

"Ok." I couldn't stop staring at him. He was just so unreal, like a dream.

"Ok," he copied.

Sometime during this whole exchange, I didn't know how, but I had managed to sit with my legs crossed and he was now with his knees on the ground resting on his heels. We were pretty close to each other, so close that I could smell his scent: sandalwood, orange blossoms and freshly cut grass. His hand was still holding my wrist, not too tightly but not too loosely. I didn't dare move, because my eyes were locked with his and neither of us could look away.

He took a deep breath, and with his free hand reached out to my head and ran his fingers through my hair. "You've got cherry flowers there," he whispered.

"Sakura," was my natural answer.

"Pardon?" he asked with a confused look, his fingers still on my hair.

"Sakura, that's cherry blossoms, in Japanese," I explained also whispering.

"Sakura," he repeated and smiled. His fingers were no longer on top of my head, but softly touching the side, then slowly down behind my ear, to my jaw and down to my chin. He kept my chin between his index finger and his thumb, the latter rubbing soothing circles on the skin below my lower lip.

I felt the heat warm up my cheeks and my breath hitched.

_I was fucking blushing now!_

He looked at my lips, which made me lick the top one. When he returned to look at my eyes, his had darkened and were now sapphire blue. The atmosphere changed and was now charged with electricity. I looked at his lips, which were parted, and I noticed that he was breathing slowly, taking measured breaths.

His hand moved from my chin to cup my face, his thumb caressing the apple of my cheeks where I felt the blood rushing to, causing my blush to become more noticeable.

"Beautiful…," he breathed.

Without taking his eyes from mine, he slowly closed the distance between us and brushed his lips softly against mine, almost like a whisper. I released a breath I hadn't noticed I had been holding and shuddered at the feel of his lips.

My eyes were open like his as he slightly pulled away.

He searched my eyes, and I guess he was happy with what he found because he leaned in for a second kiss, pressing his lips more firmly against mine. When he pulled back again, he moved his hand to the back of my head and tangled his fingers in my hair as he claimed a third kiss.

I closed my eyes and hummed at his taste. I cautiously reached out with my uninjured hand to grab him by one of the lapels of his coat to bring him closer.

I moaned against his lips and almost whimpered when he pulled back again. I tugged him closer by his coat and then our lips crashed together with a powerful passion; they danced together from one side to the other. The atmosphere around us grew in intensity as he took my lower lip between his and I ran my tongue along his upper lip. My heart was racing, my breathing uneven, labored, panting.

The kiss became even more intense when he tentatively touched my lips with his tongue, without hesitation I opened my mouth to him. He angled my head and plunged his tongue into the deep recesses of my mouth. The feel of his tongue inside my mouth made me feel light headed and my heart thundered within my chest.

_His taste was amazing!_

I rose from the ground to my knees bringing us chest to chest, with his head a little higher than mine. I ignored the pain that shot through my palm as I fisted his other lapel with my injured hand and pulled him to me, bringing his body closer to mine. He had one hand still buried in the hair at the nape of my neck, and he used it to angle my head to the side so he could deepen the kiss, his other hand ran soothing circles under my t-shirt along the small of my back. Jolts of electricity shot through my body making my already hard cock even harder. I couldn't seem to get enough of him... his scent, his taste, and his warmth.

This was, hands down, the hottest kiss of my life.

Our tongues battled for dominance. I moaned when I felt his hand slide down and grab my ass. He growled as his lips left mine to plant open-mouthed kisses along my jaw. I licked and nibbled along his earlobe and then bit down, hard, earning me a hot as hell moan from him. Just as I was about to grind my aching cock against him, the sound of Coldplay's _Clocks_ rang out from his coat pocket.

'_Lights go out and I can't be saved. Tides that I tried to swim against brought me down upon my knees. Oh I beg, I beg and plead….'_

I jolted from my bed and landed on my ass on the carpeted floor of the suite. I was panting and sweating like I had just ran a fucking marathon. My morning wood was painfully stretching my boxer briefs. I heard my phone ring again, and I scrambled off the floor to the other side of the bed to grab my phone from the nightstand.

I answered without checking the ID. "Hello?" My voice was hoarse from sleep and I was still breathing hard.

I heard my mother's voice on the other side of the line. "_Ohayou gozaimasu_. This is your wake up call. It is eight ten in the morning. The day is Tuesday, March sixteenth, Year two thousand and ten. And you were supposed to be having breakfast with your father and me ten minutes ago," she giggled.

Nothing like your own mother's voice to kill a hard on... _Thanks, Mom!_

"Oh shit! Sorry, mom. I guess I fell asleep." I ran my hand through my hair, flinching as I felt the cut on the palm of my hand.

"That's ok, son. I assumed that you would oversleep due to a possible night out," she snickered.

_Oh Mother, you have no idea… _I smirked to myself.

"Sorry, I'll be down in twenty minutes. Where are we eating, again?" I stood up, making a bee line for the bathroom.

"Répertoire, the main dining room," my mother answered, "and don't worry, Junior, your dad is talking on the phone with our publicist, and your Uncle hasn't arrived yet. Take your time honey."

"Ok, I'll see you in a bit." I ended the call and gathered my clothes for the day.

I turned on the shower and got in. As I let the warm water relax the muscles of my back, I tried to shake off the last remnants of my dream. I could still feel _his lips_ on mine, _his hands_ on my body, _his breath_ on my neck...

DAMN! I was hard again.

I had been dreaming about that kiss all night and I couldn't seem to let it go.

_You have no time to reminisce, Edward. Get your shit together._

I switched the water to cold, killing my hard on, since I had no time to rub one out.

You didn't leave Lizzie Masen waiting, EVER!

The consequences could be catastrophic, and I was already late. I managed to shave and get dressed in less than twenty minutes. I exited the suite, checking first if I had everything I needed, and quickly went down the hall and waited for the elevator. As the elevator took me to the second floor to the main dining room, I couldn't help but remember yesterday's events.

**~oOo~**

After the hottest kiss in history was interrupted by his phone, the air between us shifted dramatically, bringing us back to reality. We'd stared at each other for a few minutes without saying anything.

He finally sighed and stood up, and I did the same.

He checked his phone quickly, but seemed like he wanted to call back to whoever it was.

He ran his hands through his hair and saw a little hesitation across his face. "I need to get back," he said in a calm voice, "I wish I could stay, but…," he sighed again and rubbed his face with the palms of his hands.

I didn't want him to leave either; I wanted to continue where we left off, but his change of demeanor told me that he really needed to go. I lowered my head feeling a little insecure and confused with this situation, but I managed to ask him, in a small voice that showed my uncertainty, if I could see him again.

"I'm afraid not. I'm leaving the country in two days." He told me in a sad voice. "Although, now I wish I didn't have to."

His last statement made me smile. "It's okay. I guess this is goodbye?" I lifted my head to look into his blue-gray eyes. If this was the last time I would see him, then I wanted to memorize every single detail of his face. He was looking at me like he was trying to do the same thing.

In a sad voice he said, "I guess it is."

He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and kissed me one more time. The kiss was filled with tenderness and a kind of sadness I had never experienced before. I guessed this was how goodbye kisses felt.

"Take care, sakura boy," he whispered against my lips.

With a final chaste kiss on my forehead, we pulled apart. We didn't exchange any more words as we went on our separate ways.

When I walked out of the garden, I saw a subway station across the street and sighed in relief. At the station, I asked at the ticket counter which line would take me near the Hotel Seiyo Ginza. The man pointed the number of the line on my subway map, and I tipped him for his help.

During the ride back at the hotel, all I could think about was that kiss. The way his body molded against mine, the feel of his hands against my skin, the taste of his tongue in my mouth and his scent, that seemed to be impregnated on my clothes now. I instinctively licked my lips and sniffed the collar of my leather jacket. Yep, I could still smell him on my jacket alright.

With a heavy sigh, I leaned down and rested my elbows on my knees. GOD! What was I thinking? I made out with a stranger in the middle of a garden where we could have been found at any moment by the owners of the property. And I let him walk away, why? I had no clue, but the look on his face told me he really needed to go.

Maybe a relative had got lost or in an accident and he needed to take care of the situation. Or… oh God… could have been his boyfriend on the phone, or worse, his wife? My hands shook as they moved to cover my face as a sharp pain shot through my chest.

Why was I feeling like this? He was just a fling! A onetime occurrence! A fucking stolen kiss! A hot-smoking-swoon-worthy stolen kiss…

**~oOo~**

The ding of the elevator brought me back to the present. I walked out towards the dining room. I saw my mother at the back of the room next to a table for four. She was standing talking to a Japanese couple and signing some autographs for them.

I smiled at the sight. She was always so considerate with her fans. It hurt her when, due to security issues, she couldn't walk closer to them on the red carpet.

_'If it wasn't for the fans I wouldn't have a job, Teddy. I respect their devotion as much as they respect my work,'_ she'd said to me when I asked her about her feelings towards them.

I rubbed my chest absentmindedly as I walked to the table. That pain I had felt on the subway, as I pondered the kiss, was something I had never experienced before. Not even when Riley told me that we were over, nor when I found out that he had been going out behind my back with Demetri, the foreign exchange student from Russia.

What I experienced at that garden was more than just that kiss, but I was afraid to face what it was. I couldn't deal with it if it was just a fling. I had fought against the feelings _he_ had evoked in me all night, going over and over, analyzing every single piece of what happened after the phone call.

"Sweetheart, are you ok? Are you in pain?"

I looked into my mother's green eyes and saw her concern for me. "I'm fine, why do you ask?"

She looks straight into my eyes. "Well, you've been rubbing your chest every now and then since you sat down. Are you sure you're alright?" she asked me with a raised eyebrow.

I internally flinched at her last question. God, I could even hear the sound of his voice as he asked me that same question. And before I knew it, I felt tears gathering in my eyes. I couldn't deny the reality, anymore.

I missed him. He took a part of me with him when he left that garden, a part of me I'd never be able to get back, a part that I didn't want him to return. All within one surreal moment, I had lost myself in him. My heart ached without him, as if there was a huge hole missing in his absence. I couldn't get _him_ out of my head, nor did I want to.

I needed to find him, hold him tight in my arms and finish where we'd left off in the garden. I simply couldn't go back to my life without knowing at least his name. I needed to know that what happened wasn't a dream, that I hadn't imagined the whole thing, that what I was feeling was real… that _he_ was real. I didn't know if I believed in destiny or karma, or any of that shit, but I did believe with complete certainty that we were meant to find each other, and thanks to our little furry friend, we had finally crossed paths. We were two parts of a whole that had finally come together.

It felt right.

_We_ felt right.

I could only hope that he felt the same way.

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><p><strong>I know Tokyo's subway line is confusing, and I know that some of the readers might know better about the routes, but Edward has never been in Tokyo before, and it's a rookie's mistake to go from one main station to the other in order to change lines. So, that part was written on purpose like that.<strong>

**WE GOT A BANNER! Thanks to Doc Annie! The banner along with outfits, pictures and more are on my blog, the link is on my profile.**

**Now, tell me what you think! Like it? Hate it? Leave a word or two, even a smiley would be fine! x**_**oxo **_**~ Mina**

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><p><strong>REC's TIME!<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>My two AWESOME betas write two of my "drop everything to read the update" fics. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU TO GO READ THEM.<strong>

**RIGHT NOW!**

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><p><strong>BUSINESS CLASS GIRL By LaMomo: <strong>Edward is a young Brit actor on the rise. His problem? He's absolutely clueless, about everything. Bella is a kick-ass legal assistant at a glamourous London law firm. They hop on and off planes all the time. Will their paths ever cross?  
><strong>Link: <strong>www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6166947/

_**CLUELESSWARD OWNS ME!**_

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><p><strong>SECOND CHANCES NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD By eifeltwr: <strong>Bella and Edward met their senior year of high school, both liked each other but neither did anything about it. Nine years later Edward requests to be Bella's friend on Facebook. Can they get the second chance they both are craving?  
><strong>Link: <strong>www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5526736/

_**A ROLL IN THE HAY WITH COWBOYWARD? YES, PLEASE!**_


	3. Chapter 2: Family

**Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Ms. Meyer owns Twilight and all of its characters, no copyright violation is intended. References to real ****people, places and groups are used fictitiously. The plot is inspired by my very active imagination and a very weird dream I had once. Therefore is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.  
><strong>

**A/N: Some interesting facts.**

_**San**_ is the most common honorific and is a title of respect similar to "Mr.", "Miss", "Mrs.", or "Ms."  
><em><strong>Kun <strong>_can be used by females when addressing a male that they are emotionally attached to or have known for a long period of time.  
>Also, it can be used by anyone when addressing or referring to male children or male teenagers.<p>

**Thanks to Eifeltwr and LaMomo for betaing this chapter! *smooches* Me love ya with all my mushy heart!**

**Finally, j****ust a simple advice: keep a paper bag and the Kleenex close by.**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 2: Family<strong>

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><p>"Edward Anthony, you're scaring me. What's wrong, honey? Please tell me," my mother said with a worried face. She had one hand on my shoulder and the other was against my forehead feeling for possible fever. I was trying to contain my feelings in front of her, I didn't want to cause her any unnecessary worry, so I told her that since I'd tripped and hurt my hand yesterday it was hurting and starting to itch.<p>

"Are you sure it's just your hand, Teddy?" she asked with a knowing look.

"Yeah… and I think I'm a little jet lagged." I shrugged, trying for nonchalance. I knew she wanted to talk about what was troubling me, but she knew better than to push me, knowing I would eventually open up to her when I felt more comfortable and had time to organize my thoughts.

"Mom, I think I will go back to my room and sleep some more. We can go out this afternoon…" I said while rising from my chair, trying to get the hell out of there.

I was already planning to go back to the garden to look for the blond hottie. I luckily remembered the name of the station right across from it, so I didn't think it would be difficult to find again, and since it was private property, the owners might know where my mystery man was. At least I hoped so.

As luck would have it, as soon as I stood up I heard my father's laugh from across the room. I turned around to look at him, and I saw him talking to a man wearing a black beret and glasses.

"Oh, Teddy, stay. It looks like your uncle is here. Your father was so excited to have the family together for breakfast. Please? For me?" my mother pouted at me.

_GOD DAMNIT! She is pulling the big guns! She knows I hate to see her sad._

"Fine, I'll stay, but then I want to sleep some more." I grumbled and sat down again. Behaving like the teenager that I was, I crossed my arms over my chest for effect. My mother giggled at my poor acting skills and mouthed a soft 'thank you'.

I grabbed my glass of water, and I was about to take a sip when I heard my father exclaimed, "Here we are, together at last!"

I looked up and my eyes went wide, the air was knocked out of me and my jaw literally dropped to the damn floor, for right next to my father was no other than my blond hottie. There was no way that I could've disguised my feelings of fucking elation to see him again, I was completely frozen on my seat with a cheesy grin plastered to my face, and all I could think was, Fate must really love me.

My smile was completely wiped out of my face when I heard my father's next words. "Liz, you remember Dr. Carlisle Cullen." My mother shook my hottie's hand. "And this over here is my progeny, Junior," said my father while clapping my shoulder for emphasis. He then looked at me and said, "Edward, this is Carlisle, or you can call him Uncle C."

_Uncle C._

_Uncle Motherfucking C._

_Fate must really fucking hate me._

The blond hottie, I meant Carlisle (for there was no chance in hell I would be calling him Uncle C) gave me a tight smile and in a cold voice said, "It's nice to meet you, Edward. Ted always talks about his son very fondly." He then took a seat across from me, leaving me between my mom and dad.

_Nice to meet you? Didn't he remember me?_

_And what was that cold tone all about?_

_Was he giving the cold shoulder?_

_Did he regret what happened yesterday?_

_WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?_

While all these questions were running through my mind, my mother, who always knew how to start a conversation, asked, "So, Carlisle, how was the medical conference?"

They started talking about the conference and the breakthroughs a Japanese team had had in cancer treatments. Apparently, Carlisle used to be a general practitioner, but had recently switched fields to oncology. I tuned them out and tried to clear my head while I took a closer look at him.

He was wearing a black cotton track jacket, with a black-and-blue stripped jersey t-shirt and a pair of light-wash repaired and stained 'Barracuda' jeans. He looked more laid back than yesterday. He did seem kind of out of place amongst us. My mom was wearing a Steele cotton-blend wrap dress and her favorite blood red pumps. Both my dad and I were wearing buttons up shirts and jeans. My shirt was coffee colored with vertical stripes while my father's was charcoal grey.

Carlisle definitely stood out among us, and his black clothes brought out the blue in his eyes. I was sure that he and the blond hottie were one and the same, though the posture and the lack of eye contact he was showing me, made me doubt if he really was the one I had the best make out session of my life with just yesterday afternoon. I kept my eyes on his face, keeping mine in a mask of indifference (though I was anything but) and tried unsuccessfully to catch his eyes, which were hidden behind a pair of Ray Ban black framed eyeglasses.

"I'm glad you were able to spend time with Sayuri. How is she?" my mother asked.

_Sayuri?_

I might have said that question out loud, because Carlisle looked straight to my eyes for the first time today. His stormy blue-grey eyes shone with trepidation and… sadness? I didn't know what he was thinking, but he squared his shoulders and answered my question with a slight cold tone, "Sayuri is my daughter."

_Daughter?_

_He has a daughter?_

_So he IS married…_

_FUCK!_

Carlisle cleared his throat and looked down, one hand played with the napkin on the table. "Yes, Sayuri is very well, thank you for asking, Liz. She is at her grandparents now, but I'll be taking her back with me. She has double nationality and I would like to think it's what Esme would have wanted."

My father moved closer to Carlisle and clapped his shoulder and squeezed it in support. "I'm very sorry for your loss, Carlisle. From what you have told us, your sister was a wonderful woman. I just wish I'd had the pleasure to meet her."

_Sister?_

_What does it have to do with his daughter?_

My mom noticed my confusion and bent to whisper in my ear. "Carlisle's sister Esme and her husband Ryo died in an accident a few months ago. Carlisle's since adopted his niece; she's been taken care of by Ryo's parents. Carlisle is taking her back to the states so he can raise her."

_Oh… I see…_

_I guess she wasn't his biological daughter, but his niece._

My mother's eyes widened a little and quickly said, "Oh Carlisle, I'm sorry, but I forgot to mention this before. Teddy has a boyfriend; I really hope you don't feel uncomfortable with this new information. I would understand if you did, having a daughter to raise and all. I would gladly help you find another place to stay."

I was shocked about what my mother had just said. I had completely forgotten to tell her about me breaking up with Riley. I was going to immediately correct her, but I noticed Carlisle's posture stiffen and his jaw tightened.

_Interesting…_

I decided I would let it go and let him think that I was taken, as a way of payback for his cold tone and indifference, but the hurt he showed me in his eyes when he looked up at me for a fleeting moment, made me crack my resolve and spill my guts to my mom. "Mom, Riley and I broke up at the beginning of the semester back in September," I said looking down wriggling my hands.

"Oh! Well, then, I guess there won't be a boyfriend issue then," she said with a sad smile my way. I simply shrugged, I knew she felt bad for not knowing this before, and I bet she felt horrible about missing my break up. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it a bit to show her that it was alright.

"Liz, I assure you that I don't a have problem with Edward's preferences," said Carlisle with what I thought was a little too smug of a smile.

_Wait a minute, why was my mother asking Carlisle if it was ok with my sexual preference?_

_She must know he is also gay, unless…_

_NO WAY!_

_Was the bastard still in the closet?_

I looked at Carlisle from across the table with question in my eyes. He must have noticed my expression and put two and two together, because he had the decency to look a little ashamed. I was getting angrier by the minute.

_Is this man for real?_

He kissed me.

_He_ kissed _me_.

_HE fucking kissed ME!_

Was I some sort of experiment, some type of voyeurism for him? An itch he needed to scratch or a doubt that needed to be cleared up? I guess I had read too much into that kiss than what really was there.

_I guess I have my answer… he doesn't feel the same way as I do._

The realization that he had used me, and at the same time, that he had managed to get under my skin, made me angrier than I had ever been in my life. I was hurt, confused, sad, ashamed, and a million more different things, so many that I felt like I was giving myself whiplash with my mood swings. I even started to shake a little for the onslaught of emotions that my brain was trying to process.

My mother patted my hand and, without noticing the slight tremble that started to spread throughout my body, she addressed Carlisle again, "I'm sure everything will be fine, Carlisle. Besides the townhouse in New York has plenty of room, there are two bedrooms in the fourth floor that are side by side. I'm sure you would feel comfortable staying close to Sayuri."

I looked at my mother in utter confusion, "You mean our townhouse in New York?"

My father had amusement dancing in his eyes at my obliviousness. "Junior, haven't you been listening all this time?" my father asked.

I looked at my dad trying to hold myself together and shook my head no to him. "Yes, Carlisle is moving with Sayuri to New York to our townhouse. Since he just got transferred from L.A., I offered him our home until he finds a place to stay. Besides, you two are pretty close in age." He looked at Carlisle. "What's the difference, ten years? You could be siblings," he said with a wide smile.

"Besides, since Nana Marie passed away last summer, I would feel better if you had someone to look after you while we finish filming here till October," my mother said to me.

I nearly choked when I heard this new information. I was not letting that happen. "Mom, I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for the last eight months!"

"Sweetie, you are going to get a lot of work load from now on. You're in your senior year and with the SAT's and yearbook committee meetings coming up, you have to stay focused on school. You already do too much around the house. I just want to take some of the workload off your shoulders," she said with a smile.

My father grabbed my arm and with a firm tone said, "Carlisle is a great man, Junior. I wouldn't be asking him this favor if I didn't think so." He then turned to look at Carlisle, "I'm entrusting you one of the most important persons in my life, C. I'm counting on you."

Carlisle stared at me and without looking away said, "I'll take care of him, Ted. I give you my word."

I felt like I was about to have a full blown panic attack, so before I started hyperventilating I quickly excused myself from the table, and walked to the bathroom. Once inside, I practically ran into one of the stalls, locked it and pressed my forehead on the door.

That had been the most bizarre and confusing seventeen minutes of my life (and yes, I looked down at my watch to check).

Not only _did_ I find the blond hottie, but he turned out to be _my father's best friend_ and the so called _Uncle C_. He had a _daughter_ he had adopted after his sister and his brother in law died in an accident. And if that wasn't huge enough information for me to comprehend, Carlisle, the hottest guy I had ever made out with, and his daughter/niece were moving in to live, not only in the same house, but in the same fucking floor where I lived!

And to top it all off, the son of a bitch wasn't out, yet!

_AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!_ I mentally screamed, letting a small groan escape my lips, as I pulled my hair with both of my hands and banged my forehead against the door of the stall. I felt the tears rolling down on my cheeks and my lungs hurt from the rapid intakes of air as I tried to get my breathing regulated.

I was so angry and hurt because of what he did to me. How dare he get under my skin, to make me feel like this, to make me feel so used and fucking bare? I felt like a huge hole had been punch through my chest. He had hurt me, and it was my entire fucking fault, for allowing myself to feel something for another man again. After what Riley had done to me, I would have thought I'd learned my motherfucking lesson and kept everyone at arm's length.

I turned and slide down the door and wrapped my arms around myself trying to literally hold myself together. I let my head rest against the stall door as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I was such a fool to believe in a dream, because that's what it was, a fucking dream.

I wanted to call Bella, only to hear my the voice of my best friend tell me that everything was going to be ok. She'd probably come up with a crazy plan to get back at the bastard. In that moment, I felt so alone and exhausted. I hugged my knees to my chest and cried for what seemed like hours.

Once I had collected myself enough to not call attention, I stood up, got out of the stall. I splashed water on my face, letting some tears creep down before I wiped them away and put my Ray Bans on to conceal the redness of my eyes. I squared my shoulders and walked out of the bathroom with my head held high.

My mother saw me walking back to the table. "Teddy," she called to me, "where have you been? I was getting worried, sweetie."

I cleared my throat before I answered, "I guess I'm not feeling as good as I thought," I said with a hoarse voice. "I'm sure some food will do the trick." I gave my mom a half smile as I took my seat without looking at anything but my plate.

Luckily, before my mother pressed me for more information about my health, a young waiter approached the table to take our orders. "Ohayou, my name is Seito-san and I will be your waiter this morning. Would you like to order now?"

"Yes! I'm starving," said my father with his trademark smirk in place. "I would like your continental breakfast and a stack of strawberry pancakes. And my wife would like the American breakfast with grapefruit juice." He winked at my mother and she giggled at his antics.

Carlisle looked at the waiter and in a monotone voice said, "I would like the traditional breakfast, but without the nori, and jasmine tea, please." He handed the menu back at the waiter.

"And you, binan-ko?" the waiter asked me with a very obvious wink.

I blushed. Did this guy just call me handsome boy and flirt with me in front of my parents? I looked down at my menu to hide my embarrassment and said, "Um… I would like a black coffee and some oatmeal, please."

"Black coffee and oatmeal? I thought you would have ordered all variations of Japanese breakfast, Junior, since you're so passionate about all the food here," said my father with a slight frown.

"He's not feeling well, Ted." My mother ran a hand through my hair and I tried to contain the rolling my eyes at her concern. "He had an accident yesterday and cut his palm. I think he won't be able to use the chopsticks for a little while. Right, sweetie?" my mother asked me in her sweet soft voice.

"Would you like some okayu, sir?" asked the waiter with a concerned look and a slight smirk. "Or perhaps some green tea? I wouldn't mind preparing it myself for you."

_JEEZ! Is this guy for real?_

I was about to deny his offer, when I heard Carlisle growl, "he said black coffee and oatmeal, thank you." He glared at him, before he grabbed my menu from across the table and sharply thrust it at the waiter hitting him on the chest in the process.

I cocked my head to the side in confusion.

_What the hell was his problem?_

_The guy uses me, ignores me and now he gets mad because a guy flirts with me?_

I was now really pissed at him. I decided to test the waters and see if I could get another reaction out of him, so I channeled all my charm and said to the waiter, "Actually, Seito-kun, I would like a tamagoyaki instead of the oatmeal, please," I then winked at the waiter over my sunglasses and added a sweet smile.

The waiter practically swooned on his spot and with a timid 'no problem, sir' left the table.

Through the corner of my eye, I saw Carlisle's jaw tense and his lips press into a thin, hard line, but he wasn't looking at me. He had his eyes locked on the retreating form of the waiter.

I cleared my throat loud enough to call his attention. When he snapped his eyes to me I quirked an eyebrow and smirked, challenging him to say something. He simply took a deep breath and let it out really slow through his nose.

Suddenly my dad started cracking up and laughing a full belly laugh followed by my mother's sweet melodic laugh.

"Junior, that was priceless…," my father managed to say between guffaws.

"He certainly learned from the best," added my mother with a smirk and a wink towards my father.

I rolled my eyes at their obvious flirting moment, knowing I could get away with it because of my sunglasses.

Once my father had calmed down from his laughing fit, he patted me on the head and said, "I guess the break up was for the best, Junior. I have never seen you so comfortable in your own skin before, I was sure you would have never dared to flirt with a guy so openly. I'm proud of you, son."

"Well, I'm proud of who and what I am. Why should I hide it?" I stated firmly and with a little edge in my voice that, luckily, neither my mother nor my father were able to catch. But Carlisle certainly did, for once again looked ashamed and looked down at his hands without saying a word.

"By the way Edward, your sleeve tattoo needs some work done, correct?" I nodded "Well, today I managed to get us an appointment with Hori Yamato," said my father with a smile.

I gasped. I could have probably kissed the man right there, but settled for a hug. My father barked a laugh at my enthusiasm while my mother chastised him for not telling her before.

Tattoos had become some sort of addiction for me. I wasn't one of those people who wanted to get their whole body tattooed; I just loved the feeling of getting one. I had a black-and-red Japanese dragon between my shoulder blades. My dad had the same dragon but in black-and-blue. We had them done a year ago, after I came out to my parents, as a father and son bonding ritual or some shit. My mother was furious when she saw my father's back, but almost had a coronary when she discovered that I had the same tattoo.

Hori Yamato a.k.a Akilla, was a member of the Horitoshi Tattoo Family which was based in Ikebukuro, Japan. I had met him last September when I had gotten my second tattoo. Last year, Bella and Emmet had a huge sixteenth birthday party. They actually managed to rent Chloe 81 for one night. The party was amazing, even better than those stupid parties that are shown on MTV. Bella and Em were all about entertaining and having the time of their lives. They didn't do the grand entrance or the expensive invitations shit; they spent their money on amazing bartenders, who were hired to create a full wet menu without alcohol, and in the hiring of Armin van Buren as the DJ.

Like I said: BEST PARTY EVER!

It was that night that Bella confessed to me that since she'd seen the first episode of Miami Ink, she had wanted to get a tattoo. She hoped that one day she could get one from the very own Ami James. In fact, that was the first item on her birthday presents list. She looked so sad when she told me that Charlie almost had a heart attack when he found out, and that Renee had tried, unsuccessfully, to get him to consider the present. He said he didn't want his baby girl to have her arms tattooed, and with that the conversation was over.

But who was I to deny my best friend's birthday wish?

So, in an act of rebellion, we took my dad's private jet and went to Miami to get ourselves tattooed. When we arrived at the famous Miami Ink parlor in the morning, the place was closed, so we waited at the coffee house across the street until we saw someone came to open the shop. Thirty minutes later, we were talking to the very same Ami James; all the while Bella was trying to contain her fangirling. When they asked us for IDs I gave them a couple of top of the line fake ones that Emmett had got for me our freshman year.

Bella wanted to get two tribal designed tiger lilies on her right rib cage. When I asked why her ribs, knowing it was going to hurt like hell, she said with a mischievous smile, 'Charlie said he didn't wanted me to have my arms tattooed, he never said anything about my ribs!' I laughed at my friend's audacity and cleverness to find a loophole in her father's orders.

I was browsing through one of their traditional Japanese tattoo folder when I saw a shoulder-half-sleeve koi fish tattoo that caught my eye. Ami was prepping Bella, quite thoroughly might I add, so I asked Chris Nuñez who had done the tattoo.

"That was Chris Garver," he said looking at the piece in the folder, "but he is not here, he is in L.A for a conference."

I deflated. I really liked the tattoo, and I really wanted to get it, I knew that a piece like this would have required three sessions, at least for me. The dragon on my back had only taken two sessions when it would have usually taken four.

I asked Nuñez if there was someone else who could tattoo the piece. "I'm not sure if this is the right piece for you, kid. It's quite big and I'm not sure if you could handle the pain." He said.

I heard Bella snort from where she was standing, while Ami drew the design of her tattoo on her ribs. I smirked and winked at her. I took a step back from the counter, took my shirt off and turned around to show Nuñez my back piece. It was a pretty big tattoo; it started on my shoulder blades all the way down to my waist.

"Well, kid," said Nuñez while scratching the back of his head, "I take it back, you can handle it. How long did it take you to get that piece done?"

"Two sessions: one for the outline and shadowing, and another one for the coloring."

"Brave kid," said Ami from his seat, he had already started with Bella's outline.

"I have good news for you, kid. You see, our friend Akilla is here on a visit, if you can wait an hour, he'll do the tattoo for you."

So, I waited. It was ten at night when we went back to the airport to go back to New York. Ami had signed Bella's tattoo sketch for her, and I think Chris gave her his phone number. All the guys there had given me a bottle of sake as an award for handling an eight-hour session like a pro. I had gotten the outline and the shading done in one sit. When we got back to New York it was already two in the morning. Luckily for us, we had come up with a sleepover excuse at my house. Emmet, Rosalie and Jasper helped us with the cover up and slept at the townhouse all weekend.

Bella's parents never found out about her tattoo, but Jacob was extremely happy when he saw it. I think his exact words were: _'That's fucking hot!'_

My mom was mad at me for getting such a big piece in a very noticeable place, but at the same time admired the artwork and complimented me for my taste. And my dad, he was just sad because I didn't wait for him to accompany me to get it done and pouted for about a week. In the end, I never got grounded for it.

_God! I love my parents._

My dad telling me I was getting the tattoo finished today was the highlight of this catastrophic afternoon. That was exactly what I needed today to get my thoughts straightened. It was always cathartic in a way for me to hear the buzz of the tattoo machine and feel the needle on my skin. It was like yoga for me. I could relax and find the clarity in the process that I needed so much today.

After the news of the tattoo session, everything went back to some sort of normalcy. My parents talked to the blond hottie fucker, while I continued to flirt with the waiter whenever he was close by.

As we were leaving the dining room, Seito-san came to me and gave me his phone number. He asked me if I could call him tonight, since a few of his friends were going out for some drinks and that it would be cool if I would be able to join them. I simply took the card and with a 'we'll see', I left the place and went straight to my room, but not before my father reminded me of our one o'clock appointment with Akilla.

Once inside my suite, I grabbed my iPod and plopped down on my bed. I had been listening to some Japanese music lately. There was this manga I read a while ago titled NANA, the storyline was about two girls named Nana, and one of them was a rock star with a boyfriend that looked like the lead singer from Sex Pistols. What was interesting about the story was that it was fucking real; it dealt with drug problems, relationship hassles, the corruption of fame while trying to stay true to yourself. The manga was turned into an anime and I had been listening to the soundtrack since I arrived to Japan.

The sound of Olivia's A Little Pain filled my ears.

Mitsumete

(See me now,)

I'm here waiting for you…

Kaze ni fukare hitori mayoutte mo

(When I'm all alone being blown by the wind)

I'm here waiting for you…

Sora wo miagete

(I can see the entire sky)

Zutto kokoro wa te wo hirogete mamotteru

(Truly inside my heart, my hands stretch out to protect)

Ano koro no kimi ga furikaeru made

(Your heart, until you come back)

No need… to cry...

As I laid there looking at the ceiling and hearing what seemed to be my personalized soundtrack, I came to realize that the person I craved the most, was impossible for me to obtain. I couldn't do that to my father. He trusted and loved Carlisle like a brother, he entrusted my well being to him for Christ's sake! I wished that somehow I could self-induce amnesia and forget that afternoon, but I couldn't. No matter what, I couldn't forget that kiss. Even if he never touched me again, I would never be able to forget the feel of his lips against mine, or his hand on my skin, his breath on my neck…

_Damn it! Stop thinking about him, Edward!_

Kizuite

(Please realize)

I'm here waiting for you…

Ima to wa chigau mirai ga atte mo

(Even if the future will be different from now)

I'm here waiting for you…

Sakebi tsudzukete

(And I keep shouting it out)

Kitto kokoro wa tsunaguito wo tagutteru

(Our hearts will forever be connected to each other)

Ano koro no watashi me wo samasu you ni

(Til the day I wake you up...)

No need… to cry…

I felt hopeless. I couldn't find a way let go of these feelings, or how to go back to the way things were before Carlisle entered my life. I wasn't even sure if I really wanted to. However, I was certain that I would never forgive him for deceiving me, for using me, for getting under my skin. I had no idea where all this hurt was coming from, but it were there, festering in my heart. I guess my feelings for him ran deeper than I thought.

But I would try to let him go. I would let him go. I couldn't hurt my family like that.

These feelings had got to stop!

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><p><strong>Dun<strong>** Dun Dun… Good luck with that Eddie!**

**O**_**kayu**__ = rice porridge, Japanese comfort food for the sick._

_**Tamagoyaki**__ = it's a Japanese rolled omelet._

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><p><strong>Music Credits: <strong>"A Little Pain" by Olivia_. _**Youtube link: ** watch?v=9QxhPnnr8Cc

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><p><strong>Ok peeps, LISTEN UP!<strong>

**During Prematurity Awareness Month this November, Fandom for Preemies, with your help, will raise funds to support the March of Dimes as they work to eliminate this global issue. In thanks for your support of this worthy cause, I will be giving an outtake for Love & Secrets.**

**It will be Carlisle's point of view of the day he saw Edward for the first time, and it will be 20 pages long! IT WILL BE THE ONLY CPOV!**

**The fundraiser starts November 1st! Go to the site for more information:**

**Go check out my blog for teasers, outfits, pictures and more! Link is on my profile.**

**DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! xoxo**

**Mina**

* * *

><p><strong>REC's TIME!<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>A big shout out to <strong>**OCDJen, who a consider one of my slash queens. Her stories are always hot, interesting and sometime heart breaking. GO READ HER STORIES NOW! And leave her a review, tell her I send you! ;D**

Here are a couple of her multi chaptered stories:

**Healing Heart » **Jasper, confidant and friendly but a creature of habit. Edward, depressed and withdrawn. Can Jasper get close enough to Edward to heal his heart? Or will it push him deeper in to his pit of hell? **LINK: **_ s/5420222/_

**Right There » **After a drunk night with his Gay best friend, Jasper is left to wonder if there was more to him then he knew. Will he embrace his sudden new side and take a risk? Or will he forever be in denial? **LINK:** _ s/5563557/_


	4. Chapter 3: Gifts

**Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Ms. Meyer owns Twilight and all of its characters, no copyright violation is intended. References to real people, places and groups are used fictitiously. The plot is inspired by my very active imagination and a very weird dream I had once. Therefore is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. ©Copyright MinaR 2010**

**I want to say thank you to all my readers who review. You help me grow as a writer and encourage me to keep writing. Also, thank you all for your understanding on this difficult time in my life. :)**

**Thanks to my pre-reader Annie for helping me with this chapter.**

**To all my girls on Facebook for giving great ideas for Emmett's gift! ;D**

**And to my awesome betas: Eifeltwr and LaMomo, love ya ladies!**

**P.S. Annie and Momo, Ted said that you can keep the souvenirs you got from him the other night, apparently Liz is doing something for CK so he has extras now! ;D**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 3: Gifts<strong>

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><p>I was trying to put on my sleeveless v-neck navy blue t-shirt without touching my aching shoulder.<p>

"Motherfucker!" I exclaimed as I bumped a sensitive spot with my hand.

You could say I was rather unsuccessful.

"Cock-sucking-balls-breaker-son-of-a-bitch!" I hissed through clenched teeth when my t-shirt was finally in place.

I was panting from the pain and had one hand propped on the edge of the bathroom counter. I looked myself in the mirror, thank God I wasn't sweating yet, the last thing I needed was to feel of sweat burn my raw skin.

I hated the pain and the inability to move my arm after a long tattoo session, though I guess not enough to stop me from getting more. It was extremely frustrating and tiring. When I got my back tattoo, it was a completely different scenario. I was used to sleeping on my stomach, and it felt like I had sunburn when I put on a shirt, but the shoulder… _it was fucking killing me!_

It had been four days since I'd left Akilla's place in Tokyo with my sleeve completely finished. The session had been cathartic and exhilarating at the same time. My dad didn't get anything, for he was under strict orders from my mom not to. In fact, her exact words were: _'If you get another tattoo, Ted, I swear to God I'll make you get an Apadravya'. _I was shocked that my mom even knew what that was. Unfortunately, my dad wasn't that knowledgeable, so when I explain to him that it was a type of piercing that was placed centrally and passing through the glands and the urethra, all color drained from his face and immediately called Akilla's to cancel his appointment.

I had never laughed so hard in my life!

All that talk about piercings made want to get one. There was a girl named Aome-san that did piercings at the parlor. I asked her if she would have time for me before I started with the tattoo. She was most happy to comply and to see me shirtless, since I wanted my left nipple pierced. She was sad when I told her that I was not interested in girls. At least she didn't persist in her flirting, I hated when girls did that, as if batting their eyelashes at me would just make me straight all of a sudden.

I snorted at the thought.

Since then, I had spent most of my time in my suite, walking around shirtless and taking extra care of the tatt, so the pain was bearable. My mom and dad tried to get me to go out with them the day after my session, but when they heard me screaming trying to get dressed, they simply left me to rest.

_What a great way to spend spring break!_

At least I got to return to Zipangu last night. It took me two hours to get ready, but it paid out in the end. My parents and I arrived on time for our reservation. The interior of the restaurant was most impressive. There was a huge selection of wine, with a dedicated room surrounded by walls of wine cellars. The ambiance was mellow, yet classy; no rowdy crowd or screaming babies. After checking out the menu, placing our orders and getting some drinks, we were served with a piece of tofu and some vegetable as starter. The texture of the tofu was somehow closer to cheese than tofu and really had the added sophistication. Then came the soup with a slice of lime and some mushroom that carried a tangy taste that I usually didn't associate with hot soup, it was very good nonetheless.

The next item on the menu was foie gras. I had eaten this delicacy before, since Bella favored it quite a lot and had made me eat it on several occasions, but I really wasn't a fan. It was served on a piece of winter melon and lightly seared. The texture was akin to butter and yet just ever slightly more solid. The taste was subtle but yet so good, it was as like a taste I never knew existed. Kind of like the first time you have orgasm: new, exciting, and addictive (if your wallet was fat enough). I now had a better understanding why Bella enjoyed it so much.

I had ordered the beef teriyaki with tempura and the sushi set. The food was succulent and the sauce that came with the meat was so delicious that I was basically in a constant state of nirvana. As for the ten pieces of sushi, I could say that I had never had sushi this good before, the salmon cut was from the belly, and so was the tuna. It was of course, very fresh, and absolutely delectable.

After that orgasmic experience, I decided to stay at the hotel to rest for the next two days before I got back to New York. That was, until Bella called me today and threatened me that if I didn't return bearing gifts, she would cut my left nut and slap me on the shoulder. It was the second threat that scared me the most (talking about priorities), but since I _had _promised her gifts, I guess one day wasn't going to be that bad. I hoped.

I walked back to my room and picked up my phone. I saw I had four unread texts.

**Tony, get some aloe vera cream for ur shoulder… and don't forget my tea set! ;) –Bells**

I chuckled. I needed to find a small tea set with cherry blossoms for Bella. I had seen one in Kappabashi-dori, so it wouldn't be something difficult to get, and it wouldn't take me too long to get back at the hotel to keep resting until tomorrow.

I check the other texts and was surprise to see they were from the gang.

**Eddie! I want the coolest sake set u can find, dude. I know my sis's ur #1, but don't forget ur boy here! –Emmett**

**Masen! Em told me u're getting gifts? I WANT A SHAMISHEN! –Jasper**

**Emmy said I can ask u for a gift. Can I get a yukata? Make it red! –Ro**

_Un-freaking-believable._

I was sure that Emmet, the fucker, had made the others think I was buying gifts for everybody. I bet he did it on purpose too, just to laugh at my discomfort to go out with a freshly finished tatt. Well, he didn't know who he was messing with.

_Payback is a bitch, my friend._

I started formulating a plan in my head to get him something that would put him in a rather compromising position. The best way to do that was getting him something that would irate Rose and therefore he'd get no booty for a month.

_I know._

_I'm evil._

But for the plan to work, I needed help. I checked my watch and saw it was nine o'clock in the morning. The time difference with New York was thirteen hours, so it was eight o'clock at night over there.

_PERFECT!_

I walked out to the sitting area and grabbed an apple form the complementary fruit basket while I dialled Bella's number. She answered on the third ring.

"_TONY! So good to hear from you! How've you been? How's the shoulder?"_ Bella fired her questions in one breath.

Bella was the only one to call me Tony. I was only ten years old when Bella moved to New York and I'd met her at school, we became friends immediately. One day when we had a school project, she came by my house and met my dad and learned that his name was also Edward. She said it was too confusing and therefore he would be addressed as Mr. Ted and I will be Tony for my middle name. She looked so cute and commanding that my dad simply laughed it up and congratulated her for her quick thinking.

"Jeez, woman. Breath!" I laughed. "I'm fine, B. I'm going out right now to find you that tea set," I took a bite out of the apple and swallowed, "but I wanted to ask you, who told Emmett that I was buying gifts for everybody?" I almost growled that last part.

"_WHAT?"_ Bella gasped. _"That stupid orangutan...,"_ she seethed_, "I swear, Edward, it wasn't me. He's so gonna pay for this."_

"I know, B. I have an idea, but I need your help," I said with an evil smile on my lips and took another bite from the apple. It was quite juicy, so I had to be careful to not get my shirt stained; the last thing I wanted was spend another hour changing shirts.

"_Ooohhh… I like the sound of that. I'm all ears, Tony."_ she giggled.

I explained the plan I had come up with and what it entailed. Bella said that she would take care of everything as soon as Emmett was out of sight.

"_Have you heard from the BHF?"_ she asked timidly.

I sighed and put the half-eaten apple on the coffee table.

I had told Bella all about my encounter with Carlisle and his attitude during breakfast the next day. She tried to appease me by commenting that perhaps he was just trying to act normal to not make my dad suspect anything. I recognized that, I even understood it, but not the part where neither of my parents knew about Carlisle's supposed preferences for hot dogs instead of tacos. When I told Bella that, she was pissed. She knew how Riley had used me to get a little fame by dating The Hot Hollywood Couple's son, and understood the pain I had been through; she had been through it as well – just not in the same circumstances. It was one of the reasons why she always kept Jake at arm's length.

_I fucking hated James because of it._

Since that pathetic conversation (I cried through the whole thing) Bella had tended to call Carlisle, BHF. Blond Hottie Fucker. Though, she first had several other choice names that would put any sailor to a shame. I never expected any less from my girl, especially with Emmet as a brother.

"Haven't heard from him at all," I said in an angry voice.

"_Oh! Okay." _

I raised an eyebrow at her word, "_Okay?_" I said confused.

Bella was a terrible liar. When she had a tidbit of information she wasn't supposed to share, she kept her answers short and almost mechanical, just like she was doing right now.

_Something wicked this way comes…_

"Isabella, what aren't you telling me?" I asked suspiciously as I walked towards the balcony and opened the sliding doors. There was a cool breeze outside that felt great against the exposed skin of my shoulder.

"_No one,"_ she gulped.

_This is exactly what I meant; she really can't lie to save her life._

I chuckled as I stood in the middle of the sitting area with the balcony at my back. "I asked what, not who, Bella."

"_Ummm…"_ she hesitated and I could bet she was biting her bottom lip raw.

"Out with it, Isabella Marie!" I yelled with authority.

In a small voice, Bella said something I never expected to hear, "I saw him."

I gasped and dropped the phone and it landed with a soft thud against the carpeted floor. All playfulness and laughter died with those three little words.

I knew exactly who she was talking about and when what she said started to sink in, a million questions ran through my mind.

The fact that she had seen _him_, it meant that he was already in New York. He had left and never looked back.

_He didn't even call me to say goodbye…_

I shook my head and took a deep breath to shake off the pang of hurt that I felt at that last thought.

I picked up the phone from the floor and I immediately started firing questions in agitation, "Where? When? How? Was he alone? Tell me, Bella!" I immediately smacked myself on my forehead for my need to know about him.

"_Calm down, Tony,"_ Bella said in a calm voice. _"I saw him this morning. I was going to Ro's penthouse when I saw him coming out of your house with Felix."_

_Felix was helping Carlisle?_

Felix was our driver and sort of like our butler. He was in his fifties, and was basically a second father to me. The man has known me since I was in diapers. He was born in Naples, Italy and migrated to the States in the 60's. He spoke with a heavy Italian accent and was funny as hell. He was also an excellent cook, he taught Bella and I how to make the best _gnocchi ai quattro formaggi._ He used to tell me some crazy stories when I was little about how he used to be a hit man for a very powerful Mobster, when in reality he had never even seen a gun.

_I miss that old man._

If Felix was helping Carlisle moving his stuff into the townhouse, then that meant my Dad knew of his arrival in New York and he must have told Felix to help him with the move, but why hadn't he said anything to me last night? I would have to ask him when I saw him later at dinner.

"What happened, Bella?" I asked her while running a hand through my hair and wincing at the sudden movement of my shoulder.

"_I must say Tony, that man is certainly fuckhot! You have excellent taste; though I still have no idea what the hell you ever saw in _Riley_,"_ she practically spit his name.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. We always had this discussion; I knew now it was a mistake to get involved with Riley, but I had just come out, he was also openly gay, he was the first to show interest, and I had wanted to explore my new sexuality.

Big fat mistake, I had to admit it.

"Yes, thank you, Bella. What I want to know is if he was alone?" I asked with a frustrated sigh.

She sighed, "Yes, he was alone. I didn't see the little girl. Do you think she is still in Tokyo?"

"I don't know," I said with my frustration growing by the minute. "Did you talk to him?"

She paused for a minute before taking a deep breath and said, "Yes."

So that was what she was _really_ trying to hide from me. "What did you say to him?" I asked hesitantly.

Bella cleared her throat before she started telling me what happened, "I was actually talking to Felix. I was telling him about the Miami trip we did for my birthday last year, we were laughing and joking. Then Felix started joking how I would be the perfect wife for you and all that, you know… if you weren't gay!" she laughed, "that's when he came out of the house and… well, if looks could kill, Tony… I would probably be six feet under by now." she answered impishly.

_What?_

"Wait; did he say something to you?" If he'd said something rude to Bella, I would punch him in the face; forget best-make-out-session-of-my-life-with-a-total-stranger-in-a-foreign-country.

"_Not really,"_ she sighed, _"he just gave a very icy, cold glare that would even put Rosalie to shame, and pretty much ignored me. Even Felix commented about his change of demeanor."_

I pinched the bridge of my nose hard and began to breathe deeply, very deeply. I was so confused by his behavior. Why would he even care what Felix or Bella said about me? I knew he had felt a little jealously when I had flirted with the waiter during breakfast, but since then he hadn't even tried to talk to me to explain himself, or to even apologize or anything.

_He really never felt the same for me…_

All I heard about him was from my dad, and only that his niece was now legally his daughter under the name of Sayuri Kurata-Cullen, and that both of them should be at the townhouse by the time I arrived back in NY.

"Did you say something to him, Bella?" I asked with sadness lacing my voice as I walked back to the bedroom.

She signed. _"I was mad at him Tony, you had cried the whole night the other day on the phone, and well… I just might have said something like: 'No matter how good looking you are, you attitude really leaves too much to be desired. Get off your high horse before you hurt the people I care about.' After that I turned around, got into my car and never looked back."_

I sat down on the foot of my bed completely flabbergasted. "I can't believe you said that to him."

"_I'm so sorry Tony, but I was SO mad! And I just couldn't help myself,"_ she said in a tiny voice.

I chuckled "I guess he deserved hearing that, I couldn't have done a better job myself." I said with a smile.

Bella was not the kind of girl to lash out like that to strangers, but if a person she cared about was wronged then you had better watch out, for the little kitten that was Isabella Marie really knew how to throw a punch or two. I should know, since I was there when she let it out towards that asshole James; his nose was never straight again.

My girl had a soft spot, too. She loved with all her heart, and once you were there, she would fight with tooth and nail to see you happy. That's why what James did to her hit her pretty hard. The fact that I had introduced them still left a bad taste in my mouth and made the guilt sting my heart.

I sighed, and at the sound Bella immediately started talking, "Tony, don't go there, please…" she said in a small voice. "I know what you're thinking. It wasn't your fault." As always, Bella knew me and the direction of thoughts all too well.

"Bella… If I hadn't introduced you..." I started to say, but she cut me off quickly.

"_NO! It wasn't your fault,"_ she yelled, but then kept talking with a more calmed voice, _"I was the one who chose to ignore all the warnings and go out with the asshole. I never blamed you! Why should you?" _I could hear the frustration in her voice. _"Look, the thing is in the past. He is in jail now and won't hurt anyone else anymore. My dad will make sure of that."_

_Thank God for Commissioner Swan._

"Bella, just…" I groaned. There was no point in arguing with her.

"_It's ok, Tony."_ I heard the doorbell of her apartment through the phone. _"That's Jake, his dad is in town with mommy dearest and he asked me to let him stay here for the weekend."_

"I bet you're happy Charlie likes him so much," I joked trying to go back to our previous playfulness.

"_HA! He practically worships him, but he sure doesn't let it show!"_ She giggled and then I heard a door open, a _'Hello Beautiful'_ and some movement. _"I'll see you on Sunday, right?"_

I heard Jake ask who she was talking to, when she said it was me he yelled a _"Hello, Eddie!"_

_The dog knows I HATE to be called that._

"I'll see ya on Sunday, B. Tell JAKEY POO to take care of you and to wrap it up!" I laughed when I heard him growl at my name for him.

"_EDWARD!"_ Bella gasped at my last comment, and I bet she was blushing red. _"Goodnight, brain!"_ she said a little annoyed.

"Goodnight, pinky!" I replied in the same tone.

I plopped down on the bed and laid for a while with my legs hanging, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. I decided to make a list of all the events and analyze them little by little.

First, Emmet was a dick.

_Yeah… he is definitely gonna beg for forgiveness when I return to New York._

Second, Carlisle was in New York.

_And His __Fuckhotness didn't even say goodbye._

Third, I had reason to believe that my dad was hiding things from me.

_But how in hell was I supposed to ask him about Carlisle without sounding suspicious?_

And finally, Bella had seen Carlisle and he had behaved like a complete ass towards her.

_But I bet he looked fucking hot going all caveman on her…_

I groaned as I scrubbed my face with both of my hands at that last thought. What the hell was I doing wondering if he looked hot or not? Fuck! He always looked hot! SHIT! I mean... he was rude to my best friend, I should be mad at him and his fucking hot bod… NO! What the hell was wrong with me? This shit was weird - and completely out of character for me. Why I couldn't seem to stop thinking of him? I wasn't obsessive. I really wasn't, but those damned lips…

"DAMNIT!" I yelled into the empty room and stood up from the bed quickly. I walked to the stereo in the living room determined to clear my head with some music. Plugging my iPod into it, I hit shuffle and hoped that it would play some good shit to help me relax and sort out my thoughts. I groaned when I heard "Across the Universe" playing. It appeared that my iPod had moved into the sixties, courtesy of Bella, I was sure. That girl was obsessed with the fucking sixties. It wasn't like I had something against the Beatles; it was just that my tastes tended to be on the heavier side of rock. I sighed and I was about to hit next when there was a knock at my door.

I hit stop on my iPod and went to the door. "Who is it?" I yelled on my way.

"Junior, I'm your father!" said my dad in his best Darth Vader voice.

I barked a laugh, forgetting completely about my shitty mood at the sound of my dad's voice, and opened the door. My dad was there, leaning against the door frame, legs crossed and hands in his pockets. He had a goofy grin across his face and a knowing look in his eyes.

"What's up?" I asked mimicking his stance on the opposite side of the door, being careful with the tatt.

"A little brown eyed swan told me you might need my help." he said with a chuckle.

"Bella called you?"

"Yep! Just finished talking to her," he said, waving his cell phone in his hand. "Apparently there is some kind of master plan that I'm supposed to help you out with." He shrugged.

I laughed. Leave to Bella to involve my father, the king of jesters, into a prank for Emmet. I shook my head and made a mental note to buy her something extra while I was out shopping.

"I have to buy some gifts for the gang, but I do need your help with a 'special' gift for the orangutan that Bella has for a brother," I said with a smile.

"HA! So, it's a payback kind of plan as I can see," he laughed and then in his best Yoda voice he added, "this task to complete you should leave to me, young Padawan."

"I am indeed in need of advice, Master, which is why I think Princess Bella called for you."

"Well, then. Let's get going!" He stood up and walked into the suite. "Get your stuff, I'll call your mother and tell her we are having father/son bonding time."

"Ok, where is she by the way?" I asked as I made my way to the bedroom to grab my messenger bag and wallet.

"She is doing an interview for a national TV show," my dad yelled from the living room.

"I'll just go to the bathroom quickly and be out in a minute!" I yelled back and heard my father grunt in response. I went to the bathroom to check the tatt. It was healing nicely. I washed it with some soap and put on some antibacterial cream I had bought at Akilla's place. I grabbed some of my favorite Tommy Hilfiger cologne and dabbed a bit on my neck and shirt. I brushed my teeth and finally turn off the lights of the bathroom and bedroom. I grabbed my cell phone from the bed and wallet from the nightstand and walked back to the sitting area.

I found my father sitting on the arm of the sofa talking to my mom using the suite's phone.

"Yes, Liz, we won't take long… We'll meet you back for dinner at six?" he chuckled, "I love you too, Peppermint Pattie. Bye!" he hanged up with a chuckle.

After checking he had his cell phone and wallet, we walked out of the suite and out of the hotel. Mao was already out there with the car waiting for us.

"_Ohayou, Mao-san,_" both my dad and I said in unison.

"_Ohayou, _Ted-sama. Ted-kun" he answered with a little nod.

We climbed inside of the car and were off to Kappabashi-dori. We kept on a light conversation in the car, but I was going to take advantage of our little trip to try to get more information about Carlisle and his family. At least the little things my father knew, for now I believed that Carlisle was not a man to openly reveal his affairs to everyone. Not even to my father.

I just hoped that what I found out would shine some light into who Carlisle Cullen really was.

I hoped.

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><p><strong>DON'T FORGET!<strong>

An outtake of Carlisle's Point of View was submitted for the Fandom for Preemies author compilation. From Nov. 1st until the 30th, each donation of $5 to the March of Dimes will receive an compilation of one-shots, outtakes or blurbs from over 100 authors that have been so gracious to contribute their time and talents to this cause, that happens to be one that is very close to my heart as 28-weeker myself. For more details, go to .com

Also, check out my blog for outfits and teasers of the outtake! The link it's on my profile.

Now, don't be shy and tell what you thought! Even a smiley would be fine! =D

xoxo

Mina


	5. Chapter 4: Home

**Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Ms. Meyer owns Twilight and all of its characters, no copyright violation is intended. References to real people, places and groups are used fictitiously. The plot is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.  
><strong>

**I sure earned my M Rating on this Chapter…  
><strong>

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><p><em><strong>Oji-san <strong>_means uncle. The _San_ can be replaced by _Kun_ in the case of young relatives.

_**Nii-san**_ is a way to call your big brother, someone you look up to or simply someone who represents a big brother figure.

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><p><strong>Check out my Blog for outfits and teasers! The link is on my profile.<strong>

**Thanks Annie for helping me with the movie quotes and for pre-reading this chapter.**

**Thanks to my lovely betas, Eifeltwr and LaMomo. YOU GIRLS ROCK! I EFFING LOVE YOU!**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 4: Home<strong>

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><p>I was lying between the soft cotton sheets of my bed. His warm hands started dragging my t-shirt up very slowly, while his nails scrapped along the sensitive skin of my ribs. I let out a moan when I felt his moist, plump lips following the same path as his hands. Suddenly, he took my nipple ring between his lips and slightly tugged at it with his teeth, making me grip the sheets at my sides while a strangled gasp escaped my mouth.<p>

"I love that," he murmured against my piercing and then took it back in his mouth.

I quietly moaned in response to his ministrations. I was writhing beneath him, completely trapped by his body on top of mine and by his legs at my sides. My cock was painfully hard, straining against my jeans and begging for attention, but he was determined to ignore that part of my anatomy until I begged him.

_I was NOT going to beg…_

"Carlisle…" I moaned when I felt him bite down on my earlobe while his finger pulled on my piercing.

"I really, really love that," he chuckled against my ear, "you are so sensitive, my sakura boy. I can't wait to feel you inside me," he said in a fuck-hot sexy voice.

"Oh _fuck_," I groaned in response.

_I want more!_

Carlisle tilted his head up and pressed his lips to mine and I felt my world spin. As soon as his lips met mine, the sparks that had flickered through me every time he was near me, roared and spread all around. Instantly, my hands were in his hair, pulling him closer as the soft strands slid through my fingers. As his tongued entered my mouth, I felt him taking his shirt off. Moaning into the kiss, I pulled him closer, trying to get more of him. Our tongues furiously swirled around each other, and I felt my body begin to tremble with anticipation.

When I released his hair, I realized I wasn't the only one shaking.

We broke apart with a gasp and I removed my t-shirt completely. I pulled him back to me and crashed my lips with his. This time, his mouth worked their way down my jaw and neck, exploring every inch as I relished in the abrasive feeling of his scruff against my skin. Shifting his weight off me, he nibbled his way to my collarbone, keeping a hand in my hair while the other constantly investigated my body.

"That's it, baby… let me make you feel good," he muttered, releasing his grip on my hair and opening the buttons of my fly with his teeth one by one, making me almost cum just from the sight of it. He wasted no time and yanked down my jeans and my underwear in one swift motion, making my rock hard cock slap against my lower abdomen. Kissing his way down my stomach, he stopped to circle my navel with his tongue; goose bumps erupted on my skin. I felt my stomach muscles tense under his touch and I saw him smirk at me.

He looked down at my cock, and I felt my blush spread across my face, neck and chest.

"So beautiful," he whispered licking one side of my neck then biting down my un-pierced nipple before going back to my navel and tongue-fucking it.

_The things this man could do with his tongue!_

Nuzzling my cock with his nose, he inhaled my scent as I cried out. I tried to move, seeking more of his touch, but his hands on my hips held me firm. Frustrated, I murmured a few obscenities. I felt my cock pulse and ache for his touch, his mouth, anything! He knelt between my legs, running his hands up and down my thighs. He reached down and began kissing the underside of my cock, making me scream out in pleasure.

"So sensitive…," he snickered without stopping his ministrations.

"Please, Carlisle…" I whimpered. "Please…"

_So much for not begging…_

_OH FUCK OFF!_

He chuckled. "How do you want me, my sakura boy?"

Breathlessly, I replied, "I would prefer you inside me if you don't mind."

His breath hitched and he looked straight into my eyes. His blue grey eyes turned to a deep dark sapphire with pure lust. He looked so devastatingly beautiful. Grinning widely, he kissed the tip of my cock making me whimper. Then, he placed his hands on my shoulders, leaned over and nipped the corner of my jaw.

Suddenly I felt him shaking my shoulders.

_What the fuck?_

"Sir?"

_Wait, what?_

"SIR!"

I gasped as I woke up with a start, completely confused of where exactly I was.

"Sir, are you alright?" asked the middle-aged flight attendant that was towering over me.

_FUCK!_

_Did I just have a sex dream In the middle of my flight back to New York?_

The flight attendant frowned and shook her head at me. "We will be landing very soon, sir. Please return your seat to the upright position and buckle up your seat belt." She then turned around muttering something about 'drug testing' and 'corrupted youth' and walked down the aisle back to the station.

I was still gasping when I shifted to sit and felt a sticky mess in my boxers. Thank God the blanket I had thrown over me covered the dark stain that I was sure was now on my crotch area. I sat up and saw another flight attendant walk by. I asked her if there was time for me to use the lavatory quickly. She nodded but said that I had to hurry up.

I always carried an extra pair of pants and t-shirt when I travelled long distances, thanks to Bella's advice. Is stood up, picked up my messenger bag and with the blanket still covering me, I made my way to the toilet.

In the lavatory, I took off my loose fitted jeans and put on my relaxed jeans that were a little tighter-fitting than the ones I had been wearing. I forwent underwear, mainly because I didn't have an extra pair in my bag (Bella would be so disappointed), then straightened my NOH8 t-shirt and put on my favorite blue cashmere cardigan over it, knowing well that New York was slightly chiller than Tokyo.

I looked at myself in the mirror, noticing that my pupils were slightly dilated and my skin was still flushed from the wet dream I just had.

_You are so screwed, Masen._

I had been having these fucking wet dreams since I had met the BHF, and I couldn't, for the life of me, seem to be able to get rid of them once and for all. I had even called Takumi-kun and went out with him on my last night in Tokyo. To say that the date was a disappointment would be a fucking understatement. I spent the entire evening comparing Takumi-kun to Carlisle, and when we went to a gay club to dance, I actually got a boner just looking at the sakura trees photos that were hanging on the walls. It was as if that man was haunting me everywhere I went. It didn't help that my own father was a little too secretive about Carlisle and his past for my liking.

I washed my hands and went back to my seat, buckling on my seatbelt and waiting for the descent into JFK. As I sat there, I started to remember the little shopping trip with my dad and I felt a grin spread across my face.

* * *

><p>"You have got to be kidding me! There is no chance in hell I'm gonna go in there, especially with you, Dad!"<p>

"C'mon Junior, this is perfect! Can you imagine how pissed Rosalie is going to be when she sees what Emmett supposedly asked for a gift?"

I just shook my head and remained standing right across the street from the store my father wanted to go in. I had to admit the plan was genius, but I would not be setting one foot into that store.

"Nope, no way. You go in there and buy what you think we need. I'll meet ya' back out here when you are done," I said, crossing my arms and setting my jaw in determination, with no intentions of moving any time soon.

My father sighed in frustration. "Why are you behaving like this, Junior? It's not like you haven't been into one before."

"Excuse me?" I gasped in surprise, "and pray tell, dear father of mine, how do you think you know that I've been into a store like this before?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I pay the bills, Junior. Remember?"

My jaw dropped and my eyes went wide as saucers. I had completely forgotten that my credit card statements went to my father. "But- you- not- _SHIT!_" I mumbled, rubbing my forehead.

"It's ok, Junior," said my dad as he threw his arm around my shoulder and lead me to the XXX store, "I know you were in the store buying stuff, but I don't know _what_ you actually got."

I gave a sigh of relief. The last thing I wanted was to explain my dad about the warming lube, anal beads and vibrators that were now residing inside the drawer of my nightstand.

We walked into the store and I was surprised because nothing in it really screamed bad porno. The place was quite elegant, there were racks of lingerie up front and, as I walked into the store, I notice that there was also a wide variety of men's underwear and sleepwear. At the back of the store I saw rows of DVDs and CDs. To the left side, there were two registers and to the other side was a huge rack for magazines and books.

My dad grabbed me by upper arm and hauled me to the side of the store. "C'mon, Junior, the toys are behind those magazines."

"I won't even ask how in the hell you know that," I said, rubbing my forehead with my free hand.

He chuckled, but didn't say anything else.

_THANK GOD!_

Behind the rack of books and magazines there was another room, smaller than the one we just came from, and there were rows of small shelves filled with boxes. On top of each shelf there were displays of the many toys that were available. Two mannequins were glued to the back wall, sporting leather outfits. Between them, there was a huge selection of whips, paddles, floggers, straps and crops.

_I should steer clear from that section…_

_Yeah, you haven't broken in the flogger Ro gave you for your birthday._

_That bitch will pay for embarrassing me too._

Only Rosalie Hale, Queen Bitch, would give me a flogger for my birthday, at a party my parents had organized and attended. I would never live that down.

"So, should we pick a blond one?" my dad asked between the bookshelves.

"I thought the idea was making Ro think Emmet had a fetish?"

"Mmm…" he pursed his lips in thought. "Yeah, you are right. Did Bella send you what you need?"

I took my phone out from my pocket and checked my email.

* * *

><p><strong>From:<strong> "Emmett M Swan"  
><strong>To:<strong> "Tony Masen"  
><strong>Subject:<strong> My REAL souvenir.

DUDE!

I'm sending this to you in secrecy. DO NOT TELL ROSIE!  
>Follow the link and see if you can get that for me while you are still in Japan.<br>(http : / / is. gd / hssem)

Bros before ho's, dude!

-Em.

* * *

><p>I showed my dad the email and we both started laughing hard. Bella did a great job imitating Emmett's writing and that last sentence would send Ro into a rage.<p>

Composing himself my dad grabbed the phone from my hand, "Where does the link take you?" he asked between chuckles.

"I don't know!"

He clicked on the link and what we saw next sent us into a new wave of laughter. How did Bella find that? I didn't even want to know, but it was freaking brilliant!

"This is perfect, Junior. And Bella certainly doesn't do things half-ass. The link's address is from this store!"

I stopped laughing and grabbed the phone back to check. He was right; the link address was from the store. "I guess we can find this here?"

"GOT IT!"

And he certainly did. Right in his hand was the same box that Bella had sent me.

_I can't wait to see Emmett's face!_

_Oh sweet revenge…_

We went to the register and paid for the toy in cash (I certainly learned my lesson) and walked out of there, still chuckling at our inside joke.

My dad's cell rang, and while he took the call, I steered him towards a ramen place that was around the corner. I sat us down at a table and ordered two _Shōyu_ ramen noodles with eggs and a small portion of pork. The waitress smiled at me and complimented my Japanese. She offered us jasmine tea, which was on the house. I told her it was fine to bring us a small pot, and she left us to place our order.

Just as the nice lady left, my father ended his call with a heavy sigh.

"Everything alright, Dad?"

He put his phone back into his jacket pocket, "Everything is fine. That was Victoria, by the way. She says hi and, I quote, 'that piece of shit that I have for a brother is no longer living with me' and that 'if you see him, kick him in the balls and tell him to go home'. I guess he finally moved out, eh?"

I just nodded. Victoria had always been great to me. I still couldn't believe that she and Riley were siblings. She even told me not to get involved with her brother right out front. At first, I thought she was trying to tell me to stay away because of her prejudices, but later I learned that it was because she cared about me and she knew perfectly well what an asshole of a brother she had. Even when Riley did the unthinkable and ratted out to a tabloid about my sex life, she helped me sue her own brother for defamation and got the magazine to print a retraction for the crap of an interview that Riley had given.

_And all for fifteen minutes of fame and money._

When I told my mom about my break-up with Riley, I thought my dad would tell her about the interview, but I guess he was trying to protect her too. She always felt bad for the attention I always attracted because of her job, and I really didn't want to add any more guilt to hers. My dad and I agreed not to tell her about the real reason behind the break-up and decided to tell her that he had broken up with me for another student, which was the truth, but we just decided to leave the interview affair out of the picture.

"I should tell your mom…"

"No, Dad... She would only feel worse. Besides, it was two months ago and everyone must have forgotten by now."

My Dad slouched down, put his elbows on the table and laced his fingers under his chin. "You are wrong, Junior. People might forget about the interview, but it's in print and in the archives of the magazine. When you and Bella open your own restaurant, they are gonna use that article to give you a bad rep. They know they can't quote it or use pieces of it, but they can mention or allege to it any time they want."

"They can do that?" I asked, gob-smacked by this new piece of information.

"They can and they will, Junior. It's all part of the show, unfortunately."

"Then mom should hear from us now than years later from a tabloid," I said in a small voice.

My Dad simply nodded and patted my arm from across the table. We decided to tell mom about the interview at dinner and hoped that she wouldn't bite both of our heads off.

We ate our lunches with gusto, even though I tried to come up with a way to get more information about Carlisle and the move to New York through it all. It wasn't till tea time that I got my opportunity.

"Mmm… I know now why C likes jasmine tea so much," said my dad, pouring more tea into his cup.

I took advantage of that comment, "Didn't he order it during breakfast?"

"Yes, he did. You paid attention, Junior."

I tried not to blush with all my might and it seemed that I succeeded, because my Dad didn't say anything else.

I put my cup of tea down and, trying to appear nonchalant, I said, "Bella saw Carlisle moving into the house this week. She talked to Felix for a while."

"Yeah, I gave Carlisle Felix's phone number so he could call him once he arrived to New York. I knew he had gone back with Sayuri."

"So they are both in New York? Bella didn't mention Sayuri; I thought she had stayed in Tokyo with her grandparents."

My Dad snorted but it wasn't with humor, "Carlisle took her as soon as he could. Those people weren't good for the girl. Sorry son if I'm being vague here, but this is not my story to tell, you need to hear it from him, ok?"

And that was all I got at lunch. I steered clear from bringing Carlisle again into our conversation through the rest of my stay in Tokyo. I knew my Mom and Dad wouldn't feel comfortable about me asking too many questions. I needed answers and the only person who could give them was only less than 24 hours away.

* * *

><p>The pilot announced our arrival to JFK and this brought me back from my memories.<p>

I was glad my dad had convinced me to tell mom about the infamous interview. She was pissed and hurt that we hadn't told her sooner, but understood our reasoning. She didn't like it, but understood all the same. She told me that I could call her at any time of day or night for whatever I needed. While Dad had gone to the bathroom, she also told me she had two friends at the magazine, and one of them would probably have an accident in the archive room with his coffee mug and the other one would try to fight a very nasty computer virus before it deleted their entire database.

I swear I think I almost broke one of my mother's ribs from hugging her so tight.

We taxied through the airport and even before the seatbelt sign went off, I started putting my iPod and laptop back into my messenger bag. First class disembarked rather quickly, since most people in there were businessmen or women that were in quite a hurry. I walked towards baggage claim and then went through customs without any problems.

Once outside, I made my way through the airport parking lot, and found Felix waiting for me next to a very familiar car.

"_Ciao, bambino,"_ said Felix while giving me a bone crushing hug.

"Felix… can't-breathe…"

He laughed and then patted me on the back. _"Ho pensato che forse ti era mancata la tua macchina , mentre eri a Tokyo, e che forse avevi voglia di guidare, una volta a casa, bambino,"_ He said while tossing me the keys of my car.

He was right; I had missed my car very much while I was in Tokyo. I definitely wanted to drive her back to the house. "Did you take good care of my girls while I was gone, _Tio_?"

Felix chuckled and nodded. "_Bella_ was at the house the other day, but _Signore_ Carlisle was quite rude towards her. I left him to unpack by himself while I made Bella and Ro _gnocchi_ for dinner!"

I chuckled. Felix certainly knew how to play dirty.

I got into my beautiful navy blue 1969 Mustang Fastback. This car was a piece of junk when I first saw it. Em and Ro helped me rebuild it for 2 years, and my dad paid for the paint job and wheels. Now it was a beautiful example of American muscle car and I was its very proud owner.

As we made our way out of the airport parking lot, I told Felix about my trip to Tokyo (except the first time I met the BHF). I told him about how Dad had surprised me with the tatt session and how happy I was to finally have the koi fish finished. We both laughed our heads off when I told him about the joke that Bella, Dad and I came up with to make Em pay for the little gifts stunt.

"Ted is certainly… what's the word?" he scratched his chin before his eyes lit up, "_Astuto! _Yes, very _astuto!_"

"Cunning, Felix, the word you are looking for is cunning."

"_Si_, that too!"

I laughed. "I missed you, Felix. I really did."

He didn't say anything; he wasn't the kind of man to vocalize his feelings. He simply patted me on the arm (since he couldn't touch my shoulder because of the tattoo) and looked out of the passenger window with a smile on his face. That was enough for me to know he had missed me too.

I was driving north through First Avenue when I decided to ask the question that had been going around my head since I first saw Felix at the airport.

I cleared my throat and, trying to sound nonchalant, I asked, "Is Car-Dr. Cullen at home, Felix?"

Felix nodded and then added, "He works mornings and afternoons most days. He rarely leaves Miss Sayuri's side. They are both there waiting for you."

I frowned. "Waiting for me?"

"_Si_, Miss Sayuri is very eager to meet you."

"What?" I asked with surprise as I made the turn to our street.

"That little _bambina _is a force of nature to be reckoned with," he chuckled with a tender look across his face, "after all she has been through… Poor _dolcezza_, she must've felt so lonely after her parents' death. She asked a lot of things about you, especially after she saw your photo album. Though, after that, she kept asking about Nissan, why would she ask about a car?"

It was my turn to laugh, "No, Felix. She must've been asking for _Nii-san_, it means older brother in Japanese." And that somehow made me smile a little. What had Carlisle told her about me? Did he want me to be some kind of older brother figure for his daughter? That thought made me sad, I wanted to be more than just an older brother figure.

_Wow, there… what the hell am I thinking?_

I shook my head to clear it a little and pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind for now.

We arrived at the Masen townhouse shortly after that. The house had been built in 1931 by my grandfather, Richard Masen. Originally, it only had three floors and a basement. When my parents got married, they added two more floors and then later, when I was born, they added another floor and made an in-law suite at the terrace along with a gym and a sauna. All these renovations made The Masen Townhouse the grand jewel of the block with its classical façade in stone and its six floors and basement.

As I got out of the car, I looked up to the fourth floor windows, knowing that Carlisle had probably picked that room, since it was too big for Sayuri. The front guest bedroom on the fourth floor used to be my old nursery and playroom, but when I turned twelve my Dad had bought me a keyboard and suddenly I needed more space, so Mom redecorated the suite at the back and added a terrace for me.

_Fuck, we are really gonna share the same floor…_

I guess Sayuri was in the fifth floor guest bedroom. That bedroom was unofficially Bella's, so it was pretty much decorated with soft tones and was a little girly. I was sure Sayuri would be feeling comfortable there.

Felix got my suitcases from the trunk and walked to the front door. I made my way there, too, without taking my eyes from the fourth floor windows. I kind of wanted to see if he had at least been expecting me as much as the little girl, but I never saw any movement.

"_Bambino_, do you want me to take the car to the garage?" said Felix once inside the foyer.

"Uh… no, I think I might go to Bella's later," I said as I checked my watch. I had arrived just in time for lunch. As if on cue, my stomach rumbled quite loudly, eliciting a chuckle from Felix. "Is there any chance that you might have cooked something for me, _Tio_?"

"Of course I did!" he exclaimed with a laugh, "go get changed and meet me in the breakfast room."

"Thanks, Felix." I hugged the man and took the elevator to my floor with my bags.

I left my stuff just inside my bedroom, making a mental note not to forget to unpack tonight, and I discarded my cardigan on top of my bed, my shoes and socks on the floor. I stayed in my t-shirt and jeans and went to the bathroom to wash my face and teeth. I tossed the clothes inside my messenger bag into the hamper and made my way downstairs to the breakfast room.

I found Felix tossing something quite skillfully into a skillet by the burners.

"Smells great in here!" I opened the fridge and took out a can of Coke and a container that seemed to have a salad inside.

"You can't eat that with the pasta that I'm making, _Bambino!_" Felix tossed the salad back into the fridge and closed it. "Sit down and wait."

I did as I was instructed and waited for my meal.

* * *

><p>"Oh my God…," I sighed as I rubbed my stomach.<p>

I was back in my room, lying on my bed, after eating at least two servings of Felix's tasty _fettuccini Alfredo_. I was trying to build up the courage to go and seek Carlisle for our much needed conversation about the events in Tokyo, but I was too full to stand up.

I groaned when I heard my cell phone ring by my nightstand.

"_La la la la la la… You've been so kind and generous; I don't know how you keep on giving. For your kindness I'm in debt to you. For your selflessness, my admiration and for everything you've done…"_

I rolled over and answered knowing perfectly well who was calling me by the ringtone. "What?"

"_Jeez, Tony. You certainly know how to make a girl feel special and all!"_

"Bella!" I immediately face palmed myself. "I'm sorry for not calling you before, but I promise to come over to your place later."

"_That's okay, Tony. But I was getting worried…"_

I sighed.

I knew why she was worried. "I haven't talked to him yet."

"_Oh! I thought since you two are actually down the hall from each other…"_

"I haven't seen him yet. In fact, I don't even know if he is in the house as we speak."

"_Mmm… well, you better get a move on."_

I groaned again. "I'm not sure if I can face him…," I sat up with my back against the headboard. "It's just that… God, Bella… I haven't been able to get him out my mind! It's like he's haunting me all the time!"

"_Oh Tony… you are so fucking screwed…"_ she giggled.

"Jeez, you think?" my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"_But do you really want to hide? Where is my confident friend who took everything head on?"_

"I guess he is still in Tokyo, in a fucking Sakura garden," I grumbled.

"_GO TALK TO HIM! You owe it to yourself to clear up this mess."_

"Yes, I guess you are right. I'll see ya' later, B. And thanks for the proverbial kick in the butt."

"You are most welcome. See ya', Tony."

I tossed my phone on my bed and made my way down the hall. I stood in front of the guest bedroom door for like a century before I finally found the guts to knock.

_Knock Knock…_

No answer.

_Mmm… well, at least you gave it a try!_

_Riiiight…_

_I'm such a fucking coward._

I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts and decided to watch a movie to clear my head and really formulate a plan about how I wanted this conversation to go.

As I walked towards the Media/Family Room on the fifth floor, I heard a sound that immediately put a smile on my face.

"_WHY are you following me?"_

"_Oh, I'll tell you why… __ 'Cause I'm all alone... __ There's no one here beside me... __ My problems have all gone.. __ There's no one to deride me! __ But ya gotta have friends... __"_

"_STOP SINGING! Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends!"_

"_Wow! Only a TRUE friend would be that truly honest!"_

I chuckled at the voices of Mike Meyers and Eddie Murphy and saw from the entrance that the flat screen was showing the movie Shrek. A little girl with black hair was sitting in the middle of the couch. She hadn't heard me chuckle, and I couldn't see her face, since I was barely at the entrance of the room and the sofa was positioned to face the flat screen on the wall.

A soft purring caught my attention and when I looked down I saw the cause of all ailments for the last five days.

"Hey there, fucker," I whispered to Pilgrim as I crouched down to take him in my arms. Pilgrim meowed as I took him in my arms and purred when I started scratching his head.

"He likes you!"

I looked up and I froze.

The little girl in front of me, whom I assumed was Sayuri, was the epitome of Japanese beauty: high cheekbones, a rounded delicate nose, feline eyes and curved brows, all framed with jet black hair that reached her chin. But what really made me do a double take, were her beautiful grey-blue eyes, the same eyes as Carlisle. She was kneeling, her weight against the back of the couch with her elbows propped on it and her chin in her hands. She had a cute smile on her face.

Her giggle woke me up from my reverie, and I gave her my crooked smile, the one Bella swears makes all genders swoon, and by the pink tints in the little girl's cheeks, I guessed it was working.

"You must be Sayuri-chan," I said as I dropped Pilgrim back on the floor and he quickly made his way to the sofa.

She stood up in the middle of the couch, and I noticed she was wearing a sleeveless red jumper with a bow on the front. As I walk closer to her I saw some circular boxes on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table, and some stuffed animals scattered around. From the corner of my eye I noticed Pilgrim lying down on top of a huge panda pillow that seemed to swallow him whole.

"Yes, and you are Edward-kun," she said in a very clear English with a slight British accent.

I groaned at my name, "You can call me Teddy, Sayuri-chan."

She crossed her arms around her chest and cocked her head to the side with a look of concentration across her little face. "I will, if you call me Sayu-chan."

I chuckled at this little girl's antics. "Deal," I answered as I stepped closer to the couch and lifted my hand for her to shake.

We shook on it, and I noticed she was wearing a very pretty gold-tone charm bracelet, but before I even had the chance to recognize the little charms, Sayuri suddenly threw her arms around my neck and hugged me pretty tight, making me lose my balance and fall on my butt.

"Welcome home, _Nii-san_," she whispered in my ear.

_Oh God, no wonder Felix had that look before in the car when he talked about this little girl, she is cute as hell!_

As I hugged her back, I heard someone clear his throat and I immediately stiffened.

Sayuri quickly pulled back from the hug, "_Oji-san!_" she squealed as she grabbed my right hand to pull me closer to the person who was waiting in that room.

_Carlisle._

He was wearing loose-fit, worn jeans, a grey v-neck thermal with a checkered white and red shirt underneath. He was holding a pool stick in one hand while resting the other on the pool table, and I couldn't help but notice that he was barefoot.

_DAMN!_

_He looks so fuckable…_

_And I'm so fucking screwed…_

I stood up, quite smoothly may I add, and faced the man that had been the star of many of my fantasies and dreams for the last five days and nights.

_FUCK! Has it only been that short?_

"Hello Edward," he said as he made his way towards me from the side of the pool table. Never taking his eyes off mine, he placed the stick back into the box in the wall and finally stood in front of me with his hands in his pockets.

I decided to ignore him for the sake of the little girl at my side. I took a deep breath and crouched down to speak to Sayuri. "Sayu-chan... could you please find Felix and ask him to make some tiramisu for tonight? Tell him to make his vanilla special."

Sayuri smiled and nodded vigorously and skipped out of the game room towards the stairs.

As soon as she was out of earshot, I stood to my full height and glared at the fucker in front of me.

How dared he look so at ease, like he had all the time in the fucking world and like there was nothing to worry about? Here he was, smiling and relaxing in my fucking house without a second thought of how I might actually feel with him here.

That fucking pissed me off.

So, what did I do?

I snapped.

"Hello Edward? _Hello Edward?_ That's all you got to say to me you…." I gave him a dark chuckle. "You know what? I don't care what you are doing here, or why in the freaking hell you think that acting like a stuck-up asshole is gonna make you feel welcomed. Forget it; you are not worth my time. You can go and fuck yourself!"

"Watch your mouth, _boy…_"

"Don't fucking tell me to watch my fucking mouth you _old_ bastard!"

"ENOUGH!" he roared.

We were both panting, and somehow, in between all the yelling, we had managed to get closer. I could actually feel his breath across my face. He was looking down straight into my eyes and I stubbornly refused to be the first one to look away. His eyes flickered quickly to my lips and back to my eyes. As a reflex reaction, I did the same. I licked my lips and he copied me this time. I took a step closer and from the corner of my eye I saw his hand twitch.

The spell was broken when Eddie fucking Murphy's voice rang clear from the media room.

"_Shrek's hurt? Shrek's HURT? __**Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die!**__"_

"_Donkey, I'm okay!"_

"_You can't do this to me, Shrek, I'm too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich...?"_

Carlisle took a deep breath and stepped back and turned around. He braced himself against the edge of the pool table. He was taking deep breaths as I found myself leaning against the entryway of the media room trying to collect myself too.

_DAMN YOU DONKEY!_

Without turning around, Carlisle said in a clear voice, "Please refrain from using such vulgar words while Sayuri is in the house, Edward. I want to keep her from learning them as long as I can." He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head and, murmuring so low that I almost didn't catch it, he said, "I knew this was wrong, he is so young… I don't want this..."

I sucked in a breath when I heard those words. The pain racked through me, all the fight and anger left me immediately.

Suddenly I just felt too tired.

Tired, jet-lagged and hurt.

I felt my eyes prickle with unshed tears and tried to blink them away. "Well, you should have thought about this well before you kissed me in the Sakura garden."

With those final words, I rushed with quickly to the nearest exit. My heart was pounding and it almost skipped a beat when he took me by the wrist to stop me from leaving.

"Edward, please," he whispered against my ear making me shiver as my back touched his warm chest.

"Let me go," I pleaded through clenched teeth.

"Edward… I didn't mean it like that. You need to understand, this is not easy for me!"

"Why?" I turned around, freeing my wrist from his grasp. "Is it because I'm nothing more than a little dirty secret?"

"What are you…?"

"You know what? I don't care. That's your problem, not mine. I'm not ashamed of who I am." I took a step back. "In fact, I'm quite proud of it, as you can see," I said while grabbing a fist of my t-shirt.

Carlisle's eyes widened when he understood the meaning of my words an shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Edward, I never meant for you to feel that way. I'm a very private person. It was the way I was raised, but you have to know, I'm not hiding. My family knows that I am gay. I just don't scream it to the four winds. And I don't have that many close friends who know. In fact, my last… _partner_… used to work with me..."

I could see he was telling me the truth, as well as the pain that crossed his beautiful face when he said the word 'partner'.

_What happened to you, Carlisle?_

_Why won't you let me in?_

"I don't think it is right for us to pursue whatever it is that has sparked between us, Edward. It would be a clear sign of disrespect towards your parents. I can't do that to Ted and Liz. I'm indebted to them for so much…"

And fuck, if he wasn't right.

I knew this could be the cause of a rift between me and my parents. A rift I didn't want to happen. They were great parents, they trusted me, and most of all they trusted Carlisle. This could be like spitting in their face after all they had done for me. Apparently, Carlisle owed them a lot, too.

"You are right," I said after a moment of silence, "I don't want to hurt my parents either."

I crossed my arms and I noticed him looking at the little bit of tattoo that was showing from under my sleeve. His eyes seemed curious, and… lustful?

I decided to ignore his hungry look and added. "Maybe we should start over… Leave what happened in Tokyo, in Tokyo?"

He locked his eyes with mine and nodded. "Yes, I can certainly do that."

I nodded too. I looked at him and I noticed for the first time the dark circles around his eyes. He was tired as well, and the least I could do was apologize to him for my rude behavior.

"I'm sorry for calling you names, Carlisle."

He just nodded, and I knew he had forgiven me.

I turned around feeling tired as fuck, and as I made my way towards the stairs, I could have sworn that I heard him say, "And I'm sorry for hurting you."

Somehow, I found myself going down all flights of stairs towards my car and driving to the one place I knew I could find comfort.

I rang the doorbell and the door opened instantly to show me my best friend wearing a white tank, a leather vest and cut-off shorts. In one hand she had a square lime green pillow and in the other she had a tiny bulldog.

"Tony…" she sighed. She looked down at the little puppy and lifted towards her chest. "Meet my one year anniversary gift from Jake, this is Lolita."

I couldn't say anything.

Bella noticed my expression and she immediately pulled me inside and left the dog in the living room.

"What happened, Tony?" she asked once she was standing in front of me.

A sob racked through my chest, making Bella reach out and hug me.

"He doesn't want me," I managed to say between sobs and finally let myself cry on the shoulder of my best friend.

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><p><strong>Oh Tony… *wipes tear*<strong>

**I DARE YA TO LOOK INTO THE LINK ON EMMETT'S EMAIL! *winks***

**Just so you know, this is exactly how I had planned their reunion, what was difficult for me was reaching this point. I really didn't have a clue how to get there. So, I thank you for your patience.**

"_**LOVE & SECRETS" **__is nominated for __**Avant Garde Fanfiction Awards i**n the categories:_

_**Best Shock Value, Best Non Canon Pairing & Best New Author**_

_THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART TO "WHOEVER" NOMINATED ME AND TO ALL OF YOU THAT VOTED FOR ME ON THE 1__st__ ROUND!_

_To vote for the stories that passed the __**second round**__, follow the link below:_

**http: / / twilightfb-awards[dot]blogspot[dot]com / p / nominees[dot]html**

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><p><strong>BIG THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THOSE WHO DONATED TO THE FANDOM FOR PREMMIES!<strong>

**The F4P raised over $5000 for their cause thanks to many generous and wonderful readers! A big, bear hug to any of my readers who contributed to that amazing goal! To those of you who couldn't donate, the CPOV will be added to the Outtakes as a gift for the New Year, so make sure you have them on your alerts!**

**Now, don't be shy and tell what you thought! Even a smiley would be fine! =D**

**Xoxo**

**Mina**


	6. Chapter 5: Episkey

**Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Ms. Meyer owns Twilight and all of its characters, no copyright violation is intended. References to real people, places and groups are used fictitiously. The plot is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**

**Thank you for all the amazing reviews and for adding my story to your favorites and alerts.**

**To the girls over on 'The Young and the Rec Less', thanks for your kind words. If you have a facebook account, head over to this group, they have tons of fics that are flying under the radar and need some more loving from readers. We rec a lot of great stories and have some great fun! Come check us out, we promise not to bite! LOL (The link is on my profile)**

**As usual, thanks to my partners in crime: Annie for prereading and giving some great advise. The owners of Cluelessward and Cowboyward and the fastest betas in the fandom, Miss LaMomo and Miss Eifeltwr. I flove you, dolls! Thank God I have you to correct this chapter! LOL.**

**And yes… the chapter's title is a HP reference… what can I say? It's Cedric's fault! ;D**

**ON WITH THE SHOW!**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 5: Episkey<strong>

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><p>"<em>You pathetic piece of shit!"<em>

"_Rosie, please…"_

"_Stupid monkey man!"_

"_I swear I didn't do it!"_

"_You better enjoy it Emmett! 'Cause you won't be getting any from me!"_

"_IT WASN'T MY IDEA!"_

Jasper, Bella and I were rolling on my bedroom floor, laughing our asses off and listening how Rosalie ripped Emmett a new one. What was even funnier than hell, due to Emmett's impatience about getting his gifts, was the fact that he'd been driving Ro insane throughout the day, so she was already pissed off when she arrived at my place. Plus, Emmett had forgotten their anniversary last month, so it was like adding fuel to the fire.

_Two birds, one stone…_

Last night, I had shown up on Bella's doorstep unannounced. I'd let all my repressed feelings go and cried like a baby. Bella had let me stay the night at her place. When I woke up this morning, Bella announced that we were going to play hooky and we needed to go to my house to get me a change of clothes. When we arrived though, Felix caught us as soon as we got inside. I thought he was going to lecture us for skipping school, but he must have seen something on my face that persuaded him to let it slide. He called the school on my and Bella's behalf, saying we were both food poisoned and were unable to attend school today.

That was not a very unlikely scenario; everyone in school _knew_ we were food freaks.

We both spent the entire day hiding in my room. I didn't want to run into Carlisle, but I guess luck was on my side, since according to Felix he'd left early in the morning with Sayuri. Carlisle even told Felix that he wouldn't be back till nightfall and to please pick up Sayuri from school at four o'clock.

I wanted Bella and Ro to meet the little girl, so I told Felix that I would be picking her up. He pouted at first (she had him already wrapped up in her little fingers), but relented after Bella pouted, unleashing her doe-eyed watery stare at him. That face could've put Puss in Boots to shame, I shit you not!

The gang showed up at noon, since Emmett couldn't stop whining about how he wanted his present from Japan already; and Jasper, who was also in on the prank, was hardly able to hide the rolls of laughter that were threatening to get out of him every time he did. So Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett decided to ditch school during lunch period. We all went to my room as soon as we finished lunch and I went straight for my closet where I had stored all the presents. The gang took their usual seats, Jasper and Emmet sat on the leather couch that was facing the plasma on the wall, Ro sat on the armchair next to the bookcases filled with my CDs and albums while Bella sat on my piano bench.

I dragged my duffel bag in and sat on the floor in front of the coffee table facing the couch.

"Okay, I first have… Bella's!"

Bella squealed as I handed her the small tea set she had ask for, plus something extra I thought she might like.

"SO CUTE!" she threw her arms around me and kiss my cheek, "Thank you Tony. I love it!"

I laughed at her enthusiasm. "No problem, B. But the other box isn't more cups, open it."

She gave me a quizzical look, but opened the box eliciting another squeal from her once she saw the contents, and suddenly I was knocked on my back to the floor by the force of my best friend's hug.

"THANK YOU! I've wanted one for ages!"

I had given Bella a nice small sushi set in jade green with hand-painted cherry blossoms on it.

"I LOVE IT! Thank you, Tony…"

"Okay, we get it, you love it. Next!" yelled Emmett.

We all laughed, but I quickly went back to rummage in my bag and took out a paper parcel and extended it towards Rosalie, "Here you go Ro, hope you like it."

Rosalie smiled, and with a soft 'thank you' she started to unpack the red yukata I had bought for her.

"Oh Edward, it's beautiful! Thank you so much," she stood up and kissed my cheek.

"You're welcome, Ro."

I went back to the bag once again. I was being coy and slow on purpose, and everyone knew it. I could practically feel Emmett vibrating and could hear the muffled giggles and snorts coming from Bella and Jasper.

"Here, Jasper. You have to assemble it," I said as I handed him the box containing the shamisen, "the guy from the store gave me a pamphlet on how to do it and how to tune it. It's all in the box."

"Thanks, bro," he said, giving me a fist bump. "It's kinda cool actually."

"No problem."

I was finally left with two boxes wrapped in standard paper, but I knew which one was the prank present and which was the real one.

"DUDE!" yelled Emmett, making me jump and earning him a slap on the back of his head from Ro.

"EMMETT! Don't act so spoiled!" Rosalie chastised him.

"Sorry, Rosie," mumbled Emmett while rubbing his head.

"Um… Okay," I was playing on the dramatics and I could feel Emmett's eyes boring into me. I took out the two boxes and, acting like I wasn't sure which one to give him, I finally set the prank gift on the coffee table, "That's yours, Emmett."

It was at times like these that I wished I had a crew of cameras like in the Punk'd show, so I could capture Emmett's and Rosalie's expression and watch it over and over again.

It was fucking priceless.

Of course, Bella didn't waste any time in taking out her iPhone and started recording the shit storm.

_I freaking love my girl._

"What the fuck is that?" Rosalie yelled as soon as Emmett ripped the box open.

"DUDE! What the fuck? This is not mine!" said Emmett as he pushed the box back to me across the coffee table.

I slapped my forehead and gasped, "I'm so sorry, Emmett," I heard him sigh and Rosalie narrowed his eyes, "I mistook the packages," Emmett smiled at Rosalie and she started to smile again so I added, "I knew I should set this one apart to give it to you later." I finished with a sad sigh and a shake of my head.

_What? You think after watching my mother act for so many years I wouldn't pick up a few tricks? I do share DNA with her, after all!_

"NO!" Emmett yelled again, "I never asked for this, dude!"

"Um, yes… you did." I took my phone out of my pocket and searched for the email, "I got your email with the link to the store and everything!"

"There is no email!" Emmett whimpered when he noticed Rosalie's furious stare.

"I never pegged you for one of those guys with a fetish to fuck an Asian girl, Emmett," said Jasper from where he was now sitting on the floor next to Bella.

"DUDE!" Emmett whimpered, "There is no fetish, there is no email and I didn't ask for an Asian blow up doll!"

"Give me the phone!" Rosalie snapped at me, extending her hand for my phone, which I gave up quickly.

"_BROS BEFORE HOES?" _screeched Rosalie, throwing the phone back at me and running out of the room fuming.

That's when we all lost it and started laughing our asses off.

"Rosie, wait!" Emmett made his way towards the door, but before he left he looked at us on the floor laughing and growled, "I want explanations, and you better help me fix this with her!"

We just kept laughing as he stormed out of my bedroom behind Rosalie.

"That was epic!" Bella gasped between laughs.

"Oh, man. Your dad is the best!" Jasper said as he tried to regain his breath.

"I know," I grinned like a loony and enjoyed the sweet taste of revenge.

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><p>Two hours later, after we managed to calm ourselves down, Bella called Rosalie and explained what was really going on. I thought Rosalie was going to be pissed as hell with me, but she simply sent me a text with: <em><strong>*thumbs up* well played, Carrot top!<strong>_ And that was it! She did say to not tell Emmett that she knew the truth, because she wanted to see him grovel for a few days. I had no problems with that; the asshole deserved it after all those years of taking his stupid jokes and pranks. I guess everyone was enjoying putting Emmett in a tight spot. They certainly were enjoying it quite a lot this morning!

Jasper had gone home, but not after asking me to meet him at the school parking lot tomorrow before classes. I had asked him what was wrong, but he said he was fine and that he just needed some advice. I shrugged and agreed to meet him. Whatever was troubling him, he would tell me in his own time. Bella said it was probably a girl problem; apparently Jasper had broken up with Maria during spring break. I was shocked to hear this, and when I asked Bella if she knew the reasons of the split up, she said she didn't know the story, but she knew that it had happened on Wednesday during a cookout at Jasper's parents' home at the Hamptons.

I was worried about my friend. I knew for a fact that he had strong feelings for Maria and was ready to say the "L" word to her. Maybe she didn't return the sentiment? I knew that this was going to drive me insane until I talked to him so I pushed it to the back of my mind and concentrated on something else.

_Like driving Bella to pick up Sayuri._

I was excited for Bella to meet the little girl I had become incredibly attached to in less than five minutes of knowing her. I also couldn't wait to spend the entire afternoon with her, helping her unpack. Bella had asked Jacob to pick up some supplies on his way here so we could decorate Sayuri's room. It seemed my mom had sent Bella an email and asked her to do it for her. My mom wanted Sayuri to feel at home while she stayed with us and I couldn't agree more. Sayuri had gone through so much and I knew that having a little space of your own could do wonders towards making you feel more at home.

We arrived at the school, which was the same one Bella and I currently attended, but thank God we had to go on the other side of the campus. That was why we took my dad's car, a 2010 Audi Q7, since my GTO was far too recognizable around campus. After all, we were supposed to be puking our guts out. So far, we'd been fairly undetected, just a few friends wove to us with knowing smirks, but we knew they wouldn't tell on us.

My cell phone rang a very familiar tune and I stiffened as Bella threw me a knowing look.

'_Cut this. I'm hot! And when I'm not, I'm cold as ice. Get out of my way, just step aside or pay the price…' _

"What the hell does _he_ want?" Bella seethed next to me.

I shook my head and answered just as the chorus rang inside the car.

'_I'm a problem child, I'm a problem child, yes I am. I'm a problem child… And I'm wild!' _

I clicked on the speaker since I was driving, and braced myself for what he had to say to me.

"Hello, Riley," I said through gritted teeth.

"_Well, hello to you too, babes."_

"What do you want?"

"_Can't I call my boy for small talk? I heard you were sick, babes!"_

"First, I am not your boy. Second, cut the crap with the nicknames. Third, you never cared before when I was sick. And finally, you only call me when you want something."

"_Ouch! You're still a little hurt about the whole article debacle, aren't you?"_

I rolled my eyes and tried to suppress my snort at his motherfucking understatement.

"Riley, I don't want to hear from you ever again, so please be quick since this will be last time you and I have a conversation."

"_Riiight, what makes you think that, sweet cheeks? Oh, wait! Maybe is because you GOT ME FUCKING EXPELLED!"_

And there it was, the real reason he called.

The truth was that I'd expected this call a lot earlier than now. I guess being high, drunk and fucking around tended to make you lose track of time.

I looked at Bella who was gaping at me and I knew she had heard what Riley had said.

"I don't know what you are talking about," I said calmly while imploring Bella to stay quiet with my eyes. The last thing I wanted was to fight with her right now. Luckily, she understood and glared at me mouthing _'later'_ before settling in her seat. I nodded and heard Riley laugh sarcastically on the other end.

"_Yes, you do, Masen! You got me expelled on my senior fucking year! My father is sending me to military school!"_

And that was why he was running from home. I guess Colonel Piers finally got tired of waiting for his son to straighten up and decided to take matters into his own hands.

_About fucking time!_

"I didn't get you expelled, Riley," I sighed. "You did that yourself."

"_You expect me to believe that?"_

"Riley, you missed more classes than anyone else this semester, you failed your midterms and I heard that Dr. Banner found pot in your backpack. Did you honestly expect anything less?"

"_I know you had something to do with that stupid search, Masen. They never did that shit before!"_

I didn't have anything to do with that, but I knew the person who did and she was sitting right next to me. Bella looked at me all wide-eyed and biting her lip raw; she thought I didn't know about her tipping off the principal about drugs in school, but Jacob was worried of possible retaliations and wanted me to keep her safe at school, so he'd told me everything.

He called it _'payback'_.

I called it _'revenge'_.

_Po-tay-toh… pa-tah-toh_….

If Riley thought I was the one to blame, then I would let him. The last thing I wanted was for him to go after Bella. I took Bella's hand in mine and squeezed it in comfort. She looked at me mouthing _'sorry, I had to'_ and squeezed my hand back.

"Riley, I don't know anything about that search. I was right next to you when it happened," I said, without taking my eyes off of Bella and mouthing _'I know, it's okay.'_

"_It doesn't fucking matter! I know you had something to do with it!"_ Riley screamed.

I took a deep breath trying to keep calm. "Where are you Riley? Vicky called my dad. She is looking for you," I said trying to change the subject and help Vicky with that piece of shit she had for a brother.

"_I don't fucking care about that bitch! She tried to send me to rehab, for fuck's sake!"_

"Really? Victoria never said anything about that."

"_I bet she didn't," _he mumbled and heard his snorting and it wasn't of laughter. He was getting high. _"When I refused to go, she called daddy dearest and told him everything!"_

I sighed. Riley had been on this tailspin even before we broke up. I had tried to help him so many times, and he always made promises, which, of course, he never kept. The attitude, the drugs, the flirting and cheating, it all took a toll on me. The article was just the cherry on top. Riley wasn't always like this, but ever since his mom died in Iraq two years ago, he'd felt left out. With a strict military father who believed his son was going through some phase and the prodigy straight child that was Victoria, he felt like he didn't fit in the family anymore and he started looking for a way to escape reality. I cursed the day we met James. He was the one who introduced the drugs to Riley and the fucker almost destroyed mine and Bella's life.

_Thank God he is now rotting in jail._

"Riley, listen to me. Can you come to my house tonight?"

Bella immediately whipped around and looked at me like I had gone crazy. I ignored her and waited for Riley's reply.

"_Why the fuck would I do that?"_

"I assume you haven't been home in a while," I said and waited for me to confirm my suspicions, when he did I continued, "you can come to my place and I can help you fix everything. Maybe Victoria can help you go back to school, but you gotta give something up, Rye. Please?"

I waited for a few minutes hearing him breathe heavily and mutter something unintelligible. He was totally high and I could bet he was running low. I knew it was dangerous for me to do this, but I needed him in one place so I could call Victoria. I had promised to help her, and I was keeping my word.

"Look, we don't have to call Vicky tonight, just come to my place, eat something, take a shower, maybe crash for a few minutes and once you are more like yourself, I'll try to help you out in any way I can, okay?"

_"What are you doing, Tony?"_ Bella whispered her eyes wide in fear. _"He is dangerous! You can't make a deal with him!"_

I silenced the phone and turned to face my best friend. "Bella, he was expelled and now he's homeless. He's facing either rehab or military school, which, let's face it, the latter is not the right choice for him at the moment. I know the Colonel is a real prick to send him straight to military school, but he must've been extremely angry to make that threat. We've heard that Riley is snorting coke like there is no tomorrow, and I'm afraid he might OD any minute now. I can call Vicky and tell her he's at my place, and once he has calmed down, maybe we can actually help him."

I saw Bella mulled it over and finally nodded, "What about Sayuri?"

"I'll ask Felix to call Carlisle and maybe you can take her for a girls' night at your place. You can even call Angie's parents and ask for the twins to come over. I'm sure she's met the girls today at school and I think it would be nice for her to spend time with them."

Bella looked slightly worried, but agreed with my plan of action.

I turned off the silencer when I heard Riley cursing on the phone. "So Riley, what gives?"

"_I'm not sure."_

"Rye, just come to my place and we can talk there. _Please_?" I knew I was begging, but this might be the last time I heard from him. I couldn't live with myself knowing I had the opportunity to do something and let it slide through my fingers. I didn't want Riley's life on my conscience or even on Bella's, for that matter.

I heard him huff and sniff some more. I could practically see him pacing on the street and biting his thumbnail while thinking.

"_Fine, I'll be there at six," _he finally said and disconnected the call.

I let out a breath I didn't notice I was holding, and I could hear Bella doing the same from the passenger seat.

"I'll call Felix, he can explain to Carlisle," said Bella taking her phone out of her purse.

I let my head fall against the steering wheel, "I'll call Vicky and my Dad. I'm sure both are waiting for some news."

Bella sighed, "This is seriously more fucked up than Sunday mass to an atheist."

_Amen to that,_ I thought.

After the calls were made, and I had promised my Mom and Dad to be extremely careful, Bella and I picked up Sayuri from school. Like I had predicted, Bella was completely enchanted by the little girl and she couldn't stop commenting about her blue eyes.

"You have Carlisle's eyes; I just can't stop staring at you!" Bella squealed from where she was sitting in one of the kitchen island stools next to where Sayuri sat eating a small snack.

"Actually," Sayuri said after drinking her grape juice, "they were my mother's eyes as well. She told me that when I was in her belly, she dreamed of me and I always looked at her with blue eyes."

I noticed how Sayuri's posture changed while she was talking about her Mom. I looked at Bella and I knew she would understand about her lost. She had just lost Nana Marie, and even though Nana had had a full life, her loss was still an open wound to us all.

Bella hugged the little girl and whispered something in her ear. Sayuri nodded and giggled and climbed down the stool, dragging Bella up to her room.

I smiled just looking at them.

They played the entire afternoon, and I even played a small lullaby for Sayuri and Bella on the grand piano in the living room. They loved it and Sayuri even asked me to teach her how to play.

"I don't know, missy. I'm a very expensive teacher!" I said in mock seriousness.

Bella giggled while we watched Sayuri think about what I said.

"How much expensive?" she asked quietly.

"Mmm… well, you see. I tend to charge stuff and not money. Like Bella," I pointed to my friend sitting on the sofa, "I charged her with shoes!"

"Shoes?" Sayuri asked wide eyed and with her mouth hanging open.

"Shoes! I am a big fan of shoes!" I heard Bella snort at my understatement. It was a fact that I had a huge shoe fetish; the three racks of shoes inside my walk-in closet were proof of that.

"Are shoes expensive too?"

"They can be." I nodded and again Bella snorted knowing that the only kind of shoes I liked where in fact the expensive ones.

"I don't have money for shoes," Sayuri pouted.

"Well, how about cookies?"

"Cookies?"

"Yes, cookies."

"I don't know how to make cookies."

"That complicates things."

Sayuri had a heartbreaking expression on her little face, to which Bella couldn't resist and stood up quickly and walked to us over at the piano. She kneeled down next to Sayuri and whispered in her ear. Sayuri nodded and then squealed and hugged the shit out of Bella.

"I'll pay you with cookies!" Sayuri exclaimed and extended her hand for me to shake it.

"Deal!" I took her hand and shook it twice and then blew raspberries in her neck to which she squealed.

"Bella! Help me!" she yelled trying to escape from me.

Bella laughed, "You have to say 'uncle' Sayu-chan."

"Uncle, uncle!" she snorted and l let her go.

Bella and I laughed at the redness of Sayuri's cheeks. Five minutes later, we heard Felix arrive from grocery shopping. We all helped him put the food away and we even helped him make dinner. We ate early and after that. Bella decided to take Sayuri to her place. She was taking my dad's car since she had left hers at her place. She was also picking up Angela and the twins on her way, so my dad's car was the best option right now. Once Sayuri was buckled up in the back seat and Felix had given them enough food to last them an entire week, I walked Bella to the driver's side. I hugged her and promised to call her every hour with an update.

"I hope you did the right thing, Tony." She whispered in my ear.

I hoped so, too.

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><p><strong>Riley's ringtone: <strong>Problem Child by AC/DC [www. youtube. com/ watch?v=MRbECMbzdDE]

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><p><strong>There you go! What do you think will happen <strong>**in the next chapter?**

**To be honest, I have already written the next 5 pages since they were supposed to be in this chapter, but then I thought you would all have murdered me if I left it where the chapter originally ended. I know Annie almost had a coronary! Sorry, babes!**

**Don't forget to check out the blog for teasers and pictures! The link is on my profile.**

**Now tell me what you think, even a smiley would be fine.**

**xoxo**

**Mina**

* * *

><p><strong>I have contributed an outtake of this story for <strong>**Fandoms Fights The Floods****. It's a lunch date between Carlisle and Victoria which will be talked about in the next chapter. Please check out their blog for information on donating to this worthy cause! For only a $5.00 donation you get a compilation of many different fandoms and authors!**

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	7. Chapter 6: Confessions

**Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Ms. Meyer owns Twilight and all of its characters, no copyright violation is intended. References to real people, places and groups are used fictitiously. The plot is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**

**Thanks to Annie for her great advice, you are a fantastic prereader, wifey! And I miss you like crazy. Please be careful over there and CALL ME!**

**Also, to my lovely talented betas LaMomo and Eifeltwr, I flove you with all my effing heart!**

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><p><strong>WARNING: THE NEXT CHAPTER CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND GRAPHIC MATERIAL. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS, PLEASE DON'T FLAME!<br>I WON'T WRITE THIS KIND OF SCENE AGAIN. THIS STORY IS NOT ABOUT THIS, BUT IT IS A NECESSARY EVIL FOR THE SAKE OF THE PLOT.  
>THANK YOU AND JUST HOLD ON TIGHT.<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter Song: <strong>"Bad Wisdom" by Suzanne Vega [www. youtube. com / watch?v=cEz5il1Syhc]

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 6: Confessions<strong>

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><p>I watched as Riley ate the third serving of fettuccini that Felix had prepared before he left for the night. I knew it was dangerous to be left alone with Riley, but Christ, he looked like shit! He was way too thin and the odour emanating off him when he arrived made me gag. As soon as he walked into the house I sent him straight to the guest room on the third floor to take a shower and shave. I gave him one of my tees and a pair of sweatpants with drawstrings on the waist, but the clothes still looked <em>huge<em> on him and made me realize how bad he really was, since he used to be of Jasper's build, which was one size larger than mine.

"Christ, Rye. What the hell have you been doing the last month and a half?"

I had found out through my call to Victoria, that after the search at the beginning of the year, Riley had been suspended, but since he refused to go to rehab, he'd been eventually expelled. The rehab had been a condition set by the Principal for him in order to be able to graduate with us in May. That was when he left the apartment where he lived with Vicky and started crashing at friends' houses. Victoria had had his credit cards blocked and his account frozen, thinking that maybe he would return once he had run out of cash.

_Boy, she really didn't know how quick-witted her little brother was, huh?_

Victoria had told me that, after her trip to Tokyo to help Carlisle fight for Sayuri's custody (that was a conversation waiting to happen), she'd come home to find her home completely destroyed and all of her jewellery boxes and the safe empty. There was no forced entry and the security camera had captured Riley coming into the apartment. She did the only thing she could think of.

She'd reported him to the police.

That was one and a half months ago.

"Been around, Eddie," he answered between mouthfuls of fettuccini.

I rubbed my face, trying to think of something to say to him. He was high, I could see it perfectly through his dilated pupils that made his eyes look almost black, and the way he was looking around told me was trying to find something to steal and trade for his next fix.

After Bella had left with Sayuri, Felix and I locked my parent's rooms, the media room and every unoccupied room as well as the entrance to the fourth floor. The only available rooms where Carlisle's, which was locked with a key he had in his pocket, mine and the guest bedroom where Riley would be staying till Vicky arrived in two hours. Carlisle was supposed to be here by now, that was why Felix had left. But fifteen minutes after Felix had walked out the front door, I got a text from _Dr. Cullen_ himself telling me there had been an accident and he was stuck in the ER for another hour.

One Hour.

Alone with Riley.

I almost shuddered at the thought.

Seeing him now, I knew I could take him down if he tried anything. Besides, he knew that if he did in fact try something, Commissioner Swan would have his ass in prison faster than he could snort a line of coke.

_Just one hour, Edward. Be cool and keep him calm._

"Oh God, I missed Felix's cooking," Riley moaned, stretching on the leather armchair he was sitting on as he pushed the empty plate over the coffee table in front of him.

I had kept him away from the kitchen as much as possible, knowing he could use something in there as a weapon. I kept locking and unlocking the kitchen door every time he asked for more food or something to drink. I knew I was acting a little paranoid, but I didn't give a shit. I wasn't taking any risks of him getting a weapon and using it against me.

I had taken his clothes and put them in the washing machine after he'd gotten into the shower. I had searched his pockets and found only a few receipts of the pawn shop where he must've sold Victoria's jewellery.

Nothing else.

My guess was he kept his stash pretty close to him.

_Please God, don't let him have a switchblade with him._

I had kept my distance from him, always moving around him away from his reach and always with some kind of furniture between us. Like right now, we were in the living room and he was sitting in one of the armchairs near the fireplace while I sat opposite him, close to an exit, with the coffee table between us.

He was looking at me, or more like eye-fucking me, and it was freaking the fuck out of me.

"My God… you are still so fucking beautiful," he bit his bottom lip and I saw him adjust himself.

_Don't gag… Don't gag… Don't gag… _

"Thanks," I mumbled.

He chuckled, "Still not used to receiving compliments, Eddie?"

"Don't call me that," I snapped.

Riley lifted his hands in surrender, "my apologies, _Edward._" He said my name stretching it and making a show of his tongue rolling inside his mouth.

_Don't shudder… Don't shudder … Don't shudder … _

"So," he clapped his hands, making me jump and take a step towards the exit. Riley just smiled wickedly at me, "so jumpy!" he chuckled.

"You were saying," I asked trying to slow down my poor racing heart.

"I'm tired. Can I crash before my dear sister arrives?" he asked without humour and no wickedness.

I hadn't told Riley about Carlisle, I'd only told him about Vicky coming to talk to him in two hours. Maybe if he felt like it was just the two of us, he would feel more comfortable to talk to me. So far, that was not working at all. I was feeling only more and more tense in his presence and his looks were really starting to frighten me. I searched in his eyes for any kind of deceit or lie, but shit if he didn't just look in fact exhausted.

"Yeah, sure…" I mumbled and stood up motioning with my hand for him to go ahead of me.

_I'm not stupid to give him my back!_

He stood up slowly, as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and trudged up the stairs looking at me over his shoulder. I noticed he had a small limp, and made a mental note to ask Carlisle to check him out once he was here. I looked at the clock on the hallway of the second floor on our way to the guest room, and noticed it had only been seventeen minutes since I got Carlisle's text.

_Forty three more minutes._

_You can do it, Edward._

_Keep calm._

_Keep it together._

As soon as Riley walked into the guest bedroom, he plopped down on the bed and started snoring. I waited a few minutes, watching him from the door as he slept, to make sure this was not a trick. A few minutes later, I walked out of the room and locked him in with my key and went straight to my bedroom. I sat down on my bed and let out the breath I had been holding ever since Riley walked into the house.

I just couldn't believe how much he had changed in the last couple of months. I knew from Victoria that his addiction was getting worse, but I never imagined he'd be this bad. I felt a fear now that I had never experienced before and the way he was looking at me… I got goose bumps just thinking of his hazel eyes raking over my body like I was something to eat. I used to feel empowered by the lust in his eyes, now I just felt sick and scared. I was so lost in my thoughts and so stressed out that I forgot to lock my door. I should have also known better than to sit with my back to the door.

I stood up from my bed and made my way to the balcony to get some fresh air, when I was hit in the head with something heavy. The force of the blow sent my body slamming into the nightstand and I slid down to the floor.

When I looked up, I saw Riley standing above me, holding a thick book in his hand and I immediately knew that I had to make a run for it. A little dazed from the blow, I tried to make an exit to the balcony, but Riley kicked me in the ribs, making me scream in pain. He quickly kneeled down next to me and removed my belt from my waist while I was trying to catch my breath.

He grabbed me by the hair making me scream in pain and as he tossed me to the middle of the room like a rag doll.

"Riley! Stop!" I yelled as I try to scramble towards the door.

Riley stepped on my knee and I heard the bone cracking.

"You broke my knee!" I cried.

"Shut up!" he backhanded me and pushed me to the floor on my stomach.

I tried to escape but he pushed his knee on my back, trapping me on the floor.

"Please, Rye, don't do this!" I pleaded with him.

"I said, SHUT UP!" he growled and grabbed my head and knocked me against the floor, hitting me on the forehead.

I was bleeding down my nose, and I couldn't feel my leg below the knee where he had broken it with his foot. I was gasping and sobbing, trying to fight him, but I was dizzy and disoriented from the blows to my head. I heard the clink of my belt as he tied my hands against the small of my back. He tied them together so tight that I could barely feel my fingers from the pressure as he cut my circulation.

"I thought of just leaving you here and take your most prized possessions to a pawn shop, but looking at you like this," I saw him bite his bottom lip with a look of lust that made me shudder in fear, "I can't pass this opportunity, _Eddie._" He chuckled evilly.

I had no idea what he wanted until I saw him stand up and start untying the string of his sweatpants. I started trashing, trying to escape him and what he was about to do to me. I looked at the clock and prayed for Carlisle to arrive.

_Fuck! Fifteen more minutes!_

"I'm going to take what you have denied me all this time, _Eddie,_" he sneered down at me.

"Please, Riley, don't. PLEASE!" I sobbed against the floor completely unable to move.

"Don't worry, _Eddie._ I'll be gentle." He laughed as he snaked his arms around my waist and ripped my jeans off.

Oh God, this was really happening.

Why didn't I listen to Bella?

Why didn't I ask Felix to stay till Carlisle arrived?

Why did I try to play the hero?

I couldn't fight him off, my knee was broken and I was tied down on the floor. I was completely at his mercy. I thought of my mom and my dad and wished for them to be here. I thought of Bella and started sobbing, recognizing what she'd once been through. I thought of Em and Jazz and cursed myself for not thinking of calling them and asking them to stay with me tonight. I thought of Sayuri and thanked God that Bella was with her; the last thing I wanted was for her to be near the monster that was Riley. I thought of Carlisle and how my last words to him were of hatred. I just wanted to tell him that I loved him, because God, I loved him, so fucking much. I knew that, rationally, it was far too soon to actually be in love with him, however, my feelings were undeniably real and so fucking strong. It made no sense to fall in love with someone so quickly, but I had, completely and irrevocably.

I sobbed, trying to find a way to escape and coming up with nothing.

I truly could not escape.

And Riley was going to rape me.

_Oh God… Please! Help me!_

I started screaming for Riley to stop, hoping that my screams could be somehow heard from the street, though I knew that was not possible. I started offering him things, bargaining with him. I offered him money, clothes, food… Fuck! I think I offered him my car in exchange to let me go. I knew he wouldn't listen; he was high and had a crazed look on his face.

I tried so hard to get free, but the pain in my knee and the throbbing in my head kept me planted on my spot. I couldn't focus, Riley took advantage of that and started feeling me up. I was crying uncontrollably and felt disgusted when his fingers grazed my torso, my back, and my thighs. He was breathing hard down my neck and I could feel his lips make contact with my shoulder. He suddenly bit me there, hard, and I cried out in pain.

He marked me!

The bastard _marked _me!

"I own you, _Eddie_; you are mine to do with as I please!" The words spilled from his mouth like venom. "Why couldn't you just stay with me? We were great together! We should have stayed together…" he sobbed at the end.

"Rye… Please…" I sobbed against the carpentered floor. "Please…" I begged between my sobs, "please don't do this, PLEASE!"

"I'm sorry baby, you know I love you. Why do you make me do these things?" he croaked above me while he took off his sweatpants and socks.

He wasn't making any sense!

I tried to scramble away from him while he was standing, but I knew it was futile. Riley laughed at my pathetic attempt to escape and picked me up, punched me square in the face and let me fall back down on to the ground. He kicked me one more time in the ribs and I felt all the air leave my lungs.

I felt Riley tug down my briefs.

_Oh my God… This is it…._

_Carlisle._

_I love you._

Suddenly I heard my bedroom door slam open and saw Jacob running and tackling Riley to the floor as I heard Carlisle yelling for me.

"Edward! EDWARD!" I heard his beautiful voice scream.

"CARLISLE!" I cried out in relief. I could hear him running up the stairs and then finally saw him at my bedroom's door, still wearing the blue scrubs from the hospital, and with a frantic Victoria behind him.

He looked around the room till he spotted me on the floor, "Oh my God, Edward!" he gasped.

He ran to me and I cried in relief, in pain, in gratitude. As soon as my hands were free, he turned me around slowly and held me in his arms; he was lying down on the floor next to me. I tried to sit up, but Carlisle stopped me before I could move.

"Don't move, Edward, please. Stay on the floor, I need you to stay still. You might have a concussion and I don't want your knee to get worse, okay?" he said with tears in his eyes and running his hand gently through my hair. "Vicky, call 911. We need to take Edward to the hospital!" he ordered without taking his eyes off me.

_Oh God, his blue eyes._

_I love you._

_Thank you._

_I'm sorry._

_I love you._

I heard grunting and saw Jacob still struggling with Riley. Luckily, Jacob being the mountain of a man that he was, had Riley already pinned down on the floor and was struggling to keep him down.

"You're mine, Eddie, _MINE_!" Riley yelled under the weight of Jacob's body with a crazed look in his eyes making me whimper in fear.

"Oh Riley…," I heard Victoria sob as she took in the state of his brother. She talked on the phone for a few minutes. She hung up and said the ambulance and the police were on their way.

I looked back at Carlisle; he was crying silently and mumbling unintelligibly to himself. He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. I whimpered at the feel of his lips on my skin.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked with panic in his eyes. His hand was still stroking my hair, but then made a move to pull back.

I quickly grabbed him by his shirt, "No, please… Stay with me." I sobbed against his shoulder.

"Always, my sakura boy," he whispered in my ear making me sigh in happiness at his term of endearment for me.

"Carlisle…" I whispered back, his name sounding like a prayer.

I suddenly felt nauseous and gagged when the smell of blood really hit me. I rolled onto my other side, away from the comfort of Carlisle's body, and puked all over the carpet. Carlisle just rubbed my back and held my head as I emptied my stomach on my bedroom floor. Once I stopped gagging, he pulled me back slowly against him. His eyes roamed all over my body, checking for my injuries, then he took a handkerchief from his pocket and started dabbing my forehead. I never took my eyes off his. I could see so many emotions run through them: relief, anger, sorrow, concern, fear, and something else…

_I thought… perhaps…_

_Was that…_

_Love?_

_Oh God, please let it be love._

_Carlisle, I love you._

I was getting dizzier and I thought I was hyperventilating; I just couldn't take a deep breath. I could see that Carlisle was moving his lips, saying something, but the ringing in my ears didn't let me hear anything. A small sob escaped my lips and then suddenly everything went black.

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><p>I groaned when I felt I was being moved from one place to another. I couldn't open my eyes, everything felt heavy and it hurt like hell. I could hear people around me talking and some beeping sounds. A hand stroked my hair softly and tenderly, it felt nice.<p>

"_You'll be fine, my sakura boy. I'll be waiting for you…"_ I heard someone whisper in my ear. I knew that voice, it was deep and soft like velvet. I struggled to remember whom it belonged to, but before I could identify it, darkness overtook me again.

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><p>A thick fog clouded my mind, making it nearly impossible for me to think coherently. Slowly, I began to feel each of my limbs, wincing at the pain on my knee and ribs. The haze and darkness receded, allowing me to take in my surroundings. I kept hearing this infernal beeping sound coming from my left, making my head feel like it was being hit by nails. My eyelids felt as if they were weighed down by leaden bricks. I focused on opening them, struggling, until I was finally able to crack them open a little bit and see behind my eyelashes. I was in a white room and I could feel soft sheets beneath me.<p>

Where was I?

What happened?

Was I waiting for someone?

I remembered pain and the smell of blood…

I gasped as everything came back to me, the memories flooding my mind and making me feel dizzy for a moment. Everything that happened came back to the forefront of my mind - waiting for Riley, feeding him and then locking him in the guest bedroom. I cursed myself for being so stupid to think that a locked door would stop him from doing anything. I remembered Riley attacking me, pinning me down to the floor, looking crazed and lustful.

Me, begging Riley to let me go and struggling to get free on the floor.

Riley, taking off his clothes and ripping my jeans off while declaring I was his.

Jacob, tackling Riley to the floor and getting him off me.

Carlisle, arriving and holding me, trying to console me.

A sob ripped through my chest, making me feel the pain in my ribs, where that motherfucker had kicked me several times. I whimpered and moaned in pain, feeling the increasing pressure on my chest, but I couldn't stop trembling and whimpering. It was like I was living through the whole thing all over again.

I jumped and screamed when I felt a hand on my arm, until I smelled sandalwood, orange blossoms and linen.

"Edward, calm down," whispered Carlisle in my ear as he took me in his arms.

"You are here," I sobbed and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulling him closer to me.

I felt the bed dip as Carlisle climbed up and enveloped me in his arms. "Of course I'm here. I promised, remember?"

I nodded, and silence took over. I tried calming my breathing hearing Carlisle's heartbeat in his chest, letting it sooth me. I wanted to know what had happened after I passed out, and I knew that Carlisle had the answers, so I fought against sleep and tried to find my voice again. I took a few more breaths and let my body relax in Carlisle's arms, "what happened to… um…"

"Victoria took him to see their father. She wanted me to ask you if you want to press charges."

"I don't know… Wouldn't he go to jail?"

Carlisle sighed, "I think Victoria wants you press charges so that he can be put into state custody. She said that this way she would be able to force him into rehab and he'd serve his time there."

I thought about it for a minute and nodded, "Tell her to do what she thinks is best."

"Okay, I'll call her later," he murmured against my forehead before planting a sweet kiss there.

I closed my eyes at the feeling of his lips on my skin, "I still can't believe you stayed."

He chuckled, "I told you that I would be waiting for you…"

"Yeah, but I thought…" _that you didn't want me_, I finished in my head.

Carlisle must've felt my hesitation, and pulled back so he could look me in the eye. "What is it?" he asked, his hand running through my hair and pulling a few strands that had fallen back on my forehead. His eyes were a stormy blue, conveying the sadness inside of him.

"I thought you wanted to keep a distance from me," I whispered.

The corner of his mouth twitched a little, "I find it very difficult to stay away from you."

_What is that supposed to mean?_

"I'm sorry," I lamely answered, though I had no idea why or what I was apologizing for. I felt embarrassment coloring my face and looked away, trying to hide the hurt I was feeling by his admission.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. Look at me, Edward."

"What _did_ you mean, then?" I asked, looking back at him.

He ran a hand through his hair before setting it on top of mine on his chest; he gave it a gentle squeeze and took a deep breath. "Ever since Tokyo, I haven't been able to get you out of my mind, Edward. When I saw you at the hotel next to Liz and Ted, I thought you were an actor working with Liz, or an intern working for Ted. But when Ted introduced you as his son, I knew I had to act like I didn't know you. Ted and Liz are more than just friends, they are like family, like siblings to me, and I didn't want to lose the only family I had left. I thought that perhaps I would be able to let go of these feelings that you had awoken inside of me. I really did try. I didn't want _this_," he motioned with his hands between us, "to get more complicated. I wanted it to be real, but I couldn't find it in myself to take the chance."

I was almost afraid to ask, but I couldn't let it go. "What changed?"

He took a deep breath and held me tighter, his hand lifted and his knuckles grazed my bruised cheek so softly I barely felt it, "I care _so much_ about you, Edward. I feel very… _protective_ of you. When I saw you on the floor bruised and tied down…," he let out a shuddering breath, "I will never forgive myself," tears ran down his beautiful and tormented face.

"It wasn't your fault." I couldn't understand where all this guilt was coming from.

"No, Edward. I should've been there…"

I shook my head and cupped his face with my free hand, "You didn't know-"

"I was avoiding you, Edward!" I froze, but before I could say anything he continued, "I was killing time until Victoria could also come into the house with me, so I didn't have to be alone with you."

I gasped at his revelation and felt hurt and betrayed by him. I immediately tried to move out of his arms, but Carlisle didn't let me and hugged me tighter without causing me pain. He sobbed, letting his head fall on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. He almost took everything from you. I should have been there, but I behaved like a selfish coward instead. I am so sorry." He cried and I felt his tears soak my hospital gown.

I was shocked and I really had no idea what to say to him.

My head was dizzy from the information overload. In the span of a week, I had felt so much more than in the last 18 years of my life. I had realized that I was in love with Carlisle. I had fallen in love with this man and it was the first time I had ever felt anything like this. I think I might have always been since our stolen kiss in Tokyo. But could I forgive him for what he had done?

He had acted selfishly and it had almost cost me everything. I understood Carlisle had some major flaws, nobody was perfect, and it was clear that he had been greatly hurt. Looking at him now and hearing him cry on my shoulder, it was obvious he was tormenting himself for what could have been. Was my love for him strong enough to never resent him for this? Was I willing to let myself get hurt all over again? He said he cared for me, but did he love me?

I was so confused.

_What the hell am I supposed to do?_

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><p><strong>So, can Edward forgive him? How many of you think he should make Carlisle grovel for a little while? I seriously want your thoughts, people!<strong>

**I promise this will be the last time Riley shows up, you might hear from him, but no real threat will come from him. I SWEAR. This chapter was really hard for me to write, it was really emotional for me. I was a complete mess while typing; I think I went through two boxes of Kleenex.**

**The last chapter originally ended when Riley ripped Edward's jeans off; hence Annie's almost heart attack. So send her a big fat THANK YOU for convincing me to not finish chapter 5 there and to write the whole thing in this chapter.**

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><p><strong>¡ ANNOUCEMENT !<strong>

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><p>I'll be donating to the Fandom Fights the Tsunami a SlashOne-shot featuring my favorite slash pair: Carlisle and Edward. The one-shot is titled _**"Against the Countdown"**_. In this story, Edward has given up hope of ringing in the New Year in Carlisle's arms, while Carlisle is trying to make it home and into the arms of his fiancé as fast as he can. The problem? It can be really tricky trying to get out of the rainforest!

This o/s will have my first FULL SLASH LEMON!

I bet that caught your attention, eh?

**I'm dedicating this o/s to my awesome pre-reader Annie who is now volunteering in Japan. She's one brave lady and I'm so fucking proud of her!**

Check out the B-E-A-UTIFUL banner that **TKegl** made for me (btw, I'm totes squealed like a fangirl when she offered making it! LOL). The link is on my profile!

For more info in how to donate go to: **Fandomfightstsunami(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

Don't forget to check out the blog for teasers and pictures! (Link on my profile)

Now tell me what you think, even a smiley would be fine.

xoxo

Mina


	8. Chapter 7: Jam

**Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Ms. Meyer owns Twilight and all of its characters, no copyright violation is intended. References to real people, places and groups are used fictitiously. The plot is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**

**IMPORTANT A/N:****  
><strong>**Central Texas was recently struck by many devastating wildfires. I have a lot of friends over there, so in order to help the families who suffered losses due to these fires a fundraiser has been set up by Ysar.  
>A compilation will be given to everyone who donates <strong>**$5.00 or more**** to this cause.**

**I have signed up to write ****a one-shot. I hope you'll consider donating to receive this amazing compilation of outtakes and one-shots.**

**Here is the link with more information and how you can donate****:  
>http :  / texasfires . ysar . info /  
><strong>[delete spaces]

**Thanks to my sisters from other misters and talented betas, Miss LaMomo and Miss Eifeltwr, you dolls are the best! Thanks for your encouragement and jus****t for being plain awesome! LUV YA! *hugs***

**This chapter has not being pre-read since my wifey Annie is in freaking China!  
>*stomps foot and pouts*<strong>

_**Edward playing the guitar:**__ www. youtube. com / watch?v=XcHIyrt22F4__  
><em>[delete spaces]

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 7: Jam<strong>

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><p>"Edward?"<p>

"Mmhmm?"

"You're kind of freaking me out here, man…"

"…"

"Edward, please say something."

"You are so _fucked_."

"Anything but _that_, dude!"

"Don't _dude_ me, Jasper. I'm not the one who slept with a _freaking_ _teacher!_"

To say that I was in shock would be the motherfucking understatement of the century. I had expected this from anyone else, but not from Jasper.

When he called me this morning, I actually thought all he wanted to finally talk about his sudden break up with Maria. He'd been trying to do that since I came back from my trip to Tokyo. So, today he called me and asked me to meet him.

I was in desperate need to get out of the house, before I went insane from all the cuddling I was receiving. We agreed on meeting at our usual spot in Central Park and, as soon as my ass hit our park bench, Jasper started confessing about sleeping with the new substitute teacher during spring break.

"I didn't know she was going to be _our _teacher!"

I scoffed at his answer.

"Really, Edward! Alice just got the job as TA for summer school, but was offered to start early to get a hang of things. She wasn't supposed to teach the class, she only found out during the weekend because Mrs. Castillo went into early labor."

I quirked an eyebrow at him; I'd heard that name before. Jasper had spent spring break at his family's beach house in the Hamptons. I tried to recall what families lived close to the Whitlocks from the many summers I had spent there. I was sure I knew an Alice from somewhere.

I started to remember one particular summer birthday and a game of spin bottle.

_I think she was someone's __sister?_

_I think… oh no…_

I looked back at Jasper and noticed his apprehension, like he was waiting for me to finish putting the pieces together.

"Did you say Alice? As in Alice Brandon?"

Jasper bit his bottom lip and nodded slowly.

"Kate's _older_ sister?" I asked, panic clear in my voice.

Jasper flinched, looked down and nodded again.

"As in the _Headmaster's daughter_?" I gasped.

"Yes! I know I'm fucked!" whimpered Jasper.

Oh no… he was _beyond_ fucked.

The Brandons were extremely respected in New York. The three Brandon sisters were the epitome of socialite girls, but without the brainless chatter and diva attitude. All three sisters were Girl Scouts, were part of the Big Brother, Big Sister program and also, while in school, they were in the student council and all the main committees. They all had been captains of the varsity cheerleading squad, except for Kate who was the captain of the varsity volleyball and tennis teams.

Like I said, the Brandon sisters were a force to be reckoned with, but what worried me the most was that Jasper was with the eldest of them all.

Jonathan Brandon was our headmaster and the proudest father you could ever meet. I'm sure that if any father had a daughter like his, he would understand the fucking pride and sometimes obnoxious bragging he did on a daily basis about his oldest child.

And Jasper was screwing around with her.

"Jasper, you are in way over your head with this one. If Headmaster Brandon finds out that his pride and joy slept with one of her students, he will have no choice but to report her."

"You think he would do that to his own daughter?" he looked up at me with fear written all over his face.

I shook my head, "You don't understand, Jazz. The school's integrity is on the line. Years of prestige would be flushed down the toilette if any word of this got out, and it would all fall down in the hands of the Headmaster."

"Shit!" Jasper hissed and stood up pulling his hair.

"How did this happen, Jazz?"

Jasper started pacing in front of me, "Well, it's a long story… And here's not the place…"

I nodded, "Okay, let's go to my house. I'm hungry and Aunt Tanya was making her _medovie_ for lunch. We can talk there."

Jasper nodded and helped me stand up handing me my crutches. It was getting hot and the cast on my leg only made my skin itch. I needed to go back home so I could take my pills and ask Carlisle about getting something for the itching.

It had been two weeks since my attack and I was feeling better every day. I had to keep the cast on for four more weeks, but I had already started my physical therapy to gain a little more upper body strength. Once the cast was off, I would double my time in the gym and even start taking some self-defense classes, which had been Bella's idea in the first place.

I had been having a hard time being around a lot of people, especially men, so I tried to avoid crowded places, which was nearly impossible in New York City. Luckily, I didn't have to go to school for the past two weeks, but I'd be going back on Monday.

_I admit I __was a little terrified about it._

I even started having nightmares every night, all of them starring Riley and me being dragged into a dark corner. More than once, I had woken up with my face on the pillow, muffling my screams. I didn't want to scare Sayuri, but Carlisle was onto to me. I guess the bags under my eyes and my hoarse voice in the mornings were a dead giveaway of what was going on during the night.

Carlisle had approached me and we'd talked about seeking counseling, which I did. I started seeing a counselor friend of Carlisle. Dr. Bennett was pretty cool, she made me feel comfortable enough to tell her about my fears and she was the only one, besides Bella, that knew about my feelings for Carlisle. In fact, we talked a lot about him in our sessions, since Carlisle and I were at a standstill and I had no clue how to get out of it.

I had forgiven Carlisle the day after our talk. He didn't know what Riley was capable of and, to be honest, neither did I. He wasn't at fault, we just found ourselves in a shitty situation, and the last thing I wanted was to watch his guilt eat him away, but this whole situation certainly made me take a step back and analyze my feelings towards him.

I was in love with him, there was no doubt about it, but the truth was that I had no idea who Carlisle really was. I had barely scratched the surface in these past weeks and I had decided to simply be friends with him for the time being.

Carlisle looked a little miffed after I'd explained to him what I wanted, but he agreed and promised to try and be more open to me.

We'd talked about the legal battle he'd had with Sayuri's grandparents over her custody. How Victoria became, not only the best lawyer for his case, but a real friend to him during his move from L.A to New York. I was happy to hear that Carlisle wasn't alone all this time and that he'd found a real friend in Vicky. She was a real jewel.

There were still a few touchy subjects, like why he'd moved to New York in the first place, or when I asked where he finished his residency he simply shrugged off the answer and changed the subject quickly. I was going to be patient and I really wanted to form a friendship with the man that had so irrevocably changed me since that spring afternoon in Tokyo.

Two days after my talk with Carlisle at the hospital, I was discharged and sent home, and I wasn't surprised to see Aunt Tanya waiting for me at the townhouse. She cried when she saw me all bruised and with a cast and immediately called my dad to report how I was and to cry for an hour with my mom.

Aunt Tanya was my dad's cousin's wife and the only family that we had close by. She lived in New Haven, Connecticut, with her husband and their thirteen-year-old son Jared. She was an art history teacher at Yale and Uncle Benjamin was an architect that often worked around the world. It had been during one of his trips to Vienna, that Uncle Benjamin met Aunt Tanya. He said she'd stolen his heart when she almost ripped him a new one for trying to remodel a part of the art museum where she was working at. He married her after only knowing her for three weeks.

_I guess the love at first sight thing runs in the family._

Because of Uncle Benjamin's constant travels, Aunt Tanya became really close to mom and dad who always came back to New York after every project. We were a constant in her life and she was lonely until she had her son Jared. She stayed with me whenever Felix went away on vacation or when Nana Marie wasn't able to take care of me.

After Nana passed away, Aunt Tanya had stayed at the house with me until the beginning of the semester so I wouldn't feel alone. Felix was there as well, but Aunt Tanya filled a little the hole left by Nana's death.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Jasper.

"Edward, are you sure we'll be able to talk at your place, you know, without anyone else around?" Jasper asked as we approached his car.

"Yeah… Aunt Tanya is leaving with Felix for some grocery shopping, and then they were going to pick up Sayuri from her ballet class."

"Oh, okay. Let's go then," he sighed.

We climbed in to his car and he sped off to my home. I hoped I would be able to help Jasper in any way I could, because Lord knows he needed it. We were graduating in less than three months, I was sure they could keep this quiet in the meantime.

At least, I hoped so.

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><p>I walked into my room, tossed the stupid crutches on my bed and sat down on my piano bench. Jasper had just left, after spending the entire afternoon talking about his not-so-small dilemma. I couldn't get his words out of my head.<p>

"_I don't get it__, Jasper," I commented, sitting on the kitchen counter and eating the last of Aunt Tanya's cake, "You said you were so in love with Maria. How did this happen?"_

_Jasper sighed as he look down to his plate, "I thought I was sure about my feelings for Maria, but it was like, the moment I saw Alice, a veil was lifted and I was able to see clearly for the first time, y'know?"_

_I did know._

_It was the same thing that happened to me when I met Carlisle._

_Jasper pushed his plate aside and turned to face me fully. "I knew it the very first time I touched her." He breathed in slowly and his eyes glazed over, remembering the moment, "I saw them arrive, and noticed they needed help with their bags, and there she was… this tiny thing with short straight hair and the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. She took my breath away, Edward."_

_I'd never seen Jasper like this before, and I couldn't contain my curiosity, "What_ _did__ it feel like, Jasper? When you touched her?"_

_He sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and with a smile on his face he said, "It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of the car and I just knew. It was like... magic."_

It was like magic.

And God, if it didn't sound right.

I'd felt something like that when I kissed Carlisle back in Tokyo.

That kiss had been like heaven and hell wrapped up in one. It was such a delicious burn, and I kept repeating that moment in my head over and over again.

_Dammit, now I'm hard… again._

I rubbed my face in frustration.

I looked at the keys of my piano, my baby. It was a modern Audi-Bösendorfer grand piano in black; my mom bought it for me a couple of years ago. It was the perfect size for my bedroom. I stroke the keys, trying to play a song, but with my injured leg I couldn't really step on the pedals.

Music had always been a big part of my life. My mom taught me how to play the piano when I was five. When I turned eight, my dad bought me a guitar and taught me everything he knew. I'd learned the rest by myself, and practiced whenever I could. I used music to pour out my feelings back when I wasn't out yet to my parents, and whenever I was feeling down, I would still come to my piano and tried to play my troubles away.

I turned around and saw my guitar standing in the corner. I reached for it and softly played with the strings.

This guitar was my favorite. I had three more in the music room in the basement, but this one was special for me. Dad bought it for me after I came out, and when Nana Marie passed away, mom hand-painted a Koi fish in the corner, knowing my love for all things Japanese.

It was beautiful.

I practiced a few cords and notes; the guitar was tuned. I'd had this song in my head for almost a week and I felt the need to play it.

I got comfortable, secured my hold and started playing.

The first notes were soft and sweet.

I stopped for a second as I took a breath and started singing…

"_You're… in… my… arms…__ and all the world is calm…  
>the music playing on… for only two…<em>

_So close together and when I'm with you.  
>So close… to feeling… alive…<em>

_A life goes by… romantic dreams will stop,  
>so I bid mine goodbye… and never knew…<em>

_So close was waiting, waiting here with you,  
>and now forever I know… all that I wanted… to hold you…<em>

So close…

_So close to reaching… that famous happy end.  
>Almost believing… this was not pretend.<em>

_And now you're beside me__ and look how far we've come…_

_So far… we are… so… close."_

I played the last notes and slowly let a breath out.

I heard clapping and I immediately looked up to see Carlisle leaning against my doorframe, smiling.

"That was… _beautiful_, Edward."

I blushed, "Thank you."

Carlisle walked in and sat down on the couch in front of me. "I didn't know you could sing like that."

I shrugged, still a little embarrassed he'd caught me, especially when the song reminded so much of him. "Mom taught me how to play the piano and dad the guitar."

Carlisle smiled, "Yes, I've had the pleasure to hear your mom play before."

"Really?" I was surprised, my mom rarely played for strangers. "When?"

"In London. Your dad invited me for dinner one night; when I arrived she was playing... Lord, can't remember the name of the song," he frowned, "something sonata…"

"Moonlight Sonata," I said.

"Yeah, that's the one."

I nodded, "It's my dad's favorite. She likes to play it for him, especially if he's had a stressful day."

Carlisle nodded and lay back on the couch, "That's nice. Ted and Liz are one of those couples."

I tilted my head to the side in question.

Carlisle chuckled, "You know, those couples that complement each other, that always know exactly how the other one is feeling without having to say a word. I've seen them together and it is quite…" he took a deep breath, "remarkable. He moves, she moves. Like gravity."

_Jesus Christ, first magic and now gravity?_

_Someone wake me up, I think I fell __into __the rabbit's hole._

"Anyways…" Carlisle cleared his throat, "I wanted to ask you something."

I put the guitar back in its stand and motioned with my free hand for him to continue.

"I was wondering where you park your car."

_Okaaayyy…._ "That was totally random," I told him honestly.

He chuckled and I melted.

God, the things this man could do to me.

I cleared my throat, "Oh, well, um… Dad rents a place for it in the same lot he has his cars in, it's just a block away, we only have space for one car and that's the Range Rover, which Felix uses most of the time. Why do you ask?"

Carlisle nodded, "Well, my bike will be arriving next week from London, and I was wondering where I would be able to park it."

"You have a bike?" I asked a little surprised with this new information.

Carlisle smiled, "Yes, a 2005 Triumph Bonneville. I went to London after my sister's funeral to close down my house and hers and sent it to the shop for a new seat and a paint job. I had honestly forgotten about it until a week ago when I got a call from the people at the garage and they told me it was ready. It should be here in a couple of days."

_He rides a bike…_

I tried to force down the moan by swallowing and also shook my head to disperse all the fantasies of watching Carlisle mounting a bike, clad in jeans, a leather jacket and aviator sunglasses.

_I'm so fucking screwed…_

"Well," I croaked and turned around to face the piano to hide the blush that had certainly taken residence on my cheeks, "you could fit your Triumph in the garage and Felix could take my dad's Harley to the parking lot. This way you wouldn't have to walk a block every morning."

"Ted wouldn't mind?"

I shook my head, "Not really. He only leaves it there because he knows Bella and I like to take it for a spin when Commissioner Swan is really busy," I chuckled.

I heard him chuckling and turned to see his amused face.

"I assume Bella's father doesn't approve of his daughter on a motorcycle?"

"No! If he knew, he would kill me and Jacob."

"Why Jacob?"

"Because he is the one that taught Bella how to ride." I chuckled, remembering the many scrapes and bruises poor Bella had to conceal from her dad. "He even built a bike for her a couple of years ago. He keeps it hidden in his father's garage."

"He _built_ a bike for her?" he asked aghast.

I nodded, "Yeah, Jacob is actually a certified genius; mechanics and electronics are his passions. They guy built his own computer because he claimed that the ones on the market are trash."

Carlisle gaped at me.

I smirked, "Did you know that Bella is graduating with me only because she asked Jacob to teach her everything she should know to skip freshman year?"

Carlisle shook his head slowly with astonishment in his eyes.

I laughed. That was people's usual reaction when they learned about Jacob.

Thinking about him made me remember that I must buy something for him to thank him for what he did. If it hadn't been because of him tackling Riley, I wasn't sure if I would still be the same.

That night Jacob had stopped by Bella's to leave some of the supplies for Sayuri's room makeover. He had seen the stress in Bella's posture and told her that he would go to check on me if she was really worried about what might happen. At first, Bella tried to remain calm and declined his offer, but as time went by without hearing from me or Victoria, she asked Jacob to take the boxes of supplies to my place, this way Riley wouldn't get suspicious about his sudden appearance.

When Jacob arrived at my place, he said that he'd been ringing the doorbell for five minutes when he heard a door slamming from the ground floor. He knew the only door you could hear slamming from outside would be the one that took you to the basement. Feeling like there was something wrong, he pounded on the door for another five minutes when Carlisle and Vicky showed up. He explained to them that he was worried because he couldn't hear anything from inside, not even the doorbell.

Carlisle quickly unlocked the door, and Jacob didn't think twice before storming up the stairs straight to my room. As soon as he saw Riley hovering over me, he tackled him and punched him within an inch of his life, saving me from him.

At the hospital, Jacob told me it seemed that Riley had disconnected the doorbell while I was in my room and he even disconnected the security system so I wouldn't be able to call the police if I had the chance.

I had thanked Jacob for ten minutes straight after that.

He waved me off and said, _"I wasn't able to save her, Edward. So I promised myself to never ever let something like that happen again. You are one of my best friends, man. It was the least I could do."_

The slam of the front door woke me up from my trip down memory lane.

Carlisle had been watching me closely, no doubt knowing were my mind had wandered just now. It had been happening a lot lately, especially with the nerves of going back to school on Monday.

"_Edward! Get your sexy untouched gay ass down here, NOW!"_

Carlisle's eyes popped and my jaw was pretty much touching the floor.

Leave it to Rosalie to make a grand entrance.

"_Rosalie! We have little ears present!"_ I heard Bella hiss at Rosalie.

"_Oh__, c'mon, with McDreamy as her uncle, I'm sure she's heard worse!"_

I heard giggling and I knew that Sayuri was back with Aunt Tanya.

"_You are very loud, __Tesoro."_

"_And you loooove me just like that, Felix!"_Rosalie squealed even louder.

Carlisle chuckled and I covered my face with my hands.

"I swear, sometimes, I don't know why I'm friends with that girl," I mumbled.

Carlisle laughed and patted me on the shoulder, making me jump.

"I'm sorry," Carlisle apologized quickly and took a step back.

I hated it when stuff like that happened, but it was out of reflex, I had no control over it. I had no idea how I was gonna cope at school, where everyone tended to bump into each other in the hallways.

"Edward… try to breathe for me, please."

I gasped and let out a breath I hadn't noticed I'd been holding.

"Shit…" I hissed. I also hated when that happened, it was like my body locked down and I froze in place. Dr. Bennett explained it was a sort of panic attack, even though I didn't have flashbacks when it happened.

"It's going to be okay, Edward," Carlisle comforted me.

"No, it's not!" I cried out and stood up, pulling at my hair. "I hate that this keeps happening all the freaking time now. I hate it! And I hate fucking Riley for doing this to me!" I sobbed and limped towards my bed.

I suddenly tripped on the carpet and braced myself for the impact, but it never came.

Two strong arms embraced me around my shoulders from the side.

"Shhh… sweet boy… Please, clam down. Everything will be fine," cooed Carlisle in my ear.

I let him embrace me fully; one of his hands at my waist and the other at the nape of my neck, where he kept massaging lightly. I threw my arms around his neck and burrowed my face against his chest. I let the sobs pour out of me for a minute, until I was finally able to get a hold of myself.

"We are all here for you, Edward. Your friends, your family and me."

"P-pro-promise?"

"I promise."

And I believed him.

We stood there for a couple more minutes until there was a timid knock on my door.

"Tony?"

I pulled back from Carlisle and wiped my face with my t-shirt sleeve.

"I'm okay." I said as I looked at Bella's troubled eyes.

She nodded once and gave me an understanding smile, knowing better than anyone what I was feeling.

"I'll leave you two alone," said Carlisle.

He cupped my face and kissed my forehead sweetly.

I sighed at the touch.

He did that more often now. He was less afraid to give me these small displays of affection since our talk at the hospital.

I loved it.

As soon as he was out of the room, Bella hugged me tightly. "It will get better, trust me."

I nodded, "I hope so and I do, Bells. Implicitly."

"Good," she smiled, pulling back to look up at me. "Now let's go downstairs, Rosalie is dying to talk to you."

I picked up my crutches. "Yeah, I think even my parents were able to hear her looking for me," I chuckled.

"I wouldn't doubt it," she smiled.

Before we reached my door, Bella stopped me.

"Just so you know… I believe Carlisle is really good for you. Maybe you should open up more to him too, Tony. Relationships are a two way street, after all."

I smiled, "Sure, Dr. Bella. When did you get so wise?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. I guess hanging out with Jacob and going two times a month to see Dr. Bennett does that to me."

I chuckled, "Dr. Bennett is really something, huh?"

Bella nodded, "The best."

"_Whatever you two up there are doing, stop it! I need Mr. Piano Man__'s magic fingers. So get your asses down here!" _yelled Rosalie from the bottom of the stairs.

Bella and I laughed.

"What is this all about?" I asked Bella as I pushed the bottom for the elevator.

Bella shook her head, "Beats me, but she's been stressed about the audition for the Julliard summer program."

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, "I guess it's time to find out, eh?" I said as I entered the compartment and pushed the button for the ground floor.

"See ya down here!" Bella waved and went down the stairs.

_Not a dull moment in my life._

_These crazy friends of mine…_

* * *

><p>Forgive me for my lack of updating. Between losing my job, finals and an emergency surgery, I lost track of time. I was also focused on TPG, rewriting the outlines I lost in the Great Computer Crash of 2011, so I had a lot of work on my hands. The outlines for this story are safe and sound waiting to be written, so don't worry about waiting for the updates; I'll try to post a new one <span>every three weeks<span> from now on, but no promises, my life is pretty hectic right now.

_**Medovie**_is a Russian cake recipe featuring honey, this delicious cake is quite easy to make despite first impressions. I like to eat it with coffee or some strong tea since it's quite sweet.

As you have noticed, food is an important part of this story, so if you have a dish that's your favorite and something that our Edward would enjoy, tell me all about it! I might use it and have Edward cook it in one of the chapters! Maybe, even a dinner for Carlisle? Mmm…

**Don't forget to check out the blog for teasers and pictures! (**Link on my profile**)**

Now tell me what you think, even a smiley would be fine. _xoxo_

Mina

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><p><strong>.: RECS TIME :.<strong>

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><p><strong>Where You Belong by sadtomato<br>**Carlisle's new boyfriend is young, sweet, and sexy-but he's also incredibly shy. Can Carlisle draw him out of his shell? Carlisle/Edward M for lemons and **daddy!kink** stuff - You've been warned.

I really LOVE this fic! It has one of the sweetest and shyest Edwards I've ever read, and it's HOT! This story is just so beautifully written; give it a shot, please. If you aren't into role-play and dirty talking, then this is not a fic for you, so please consider yourself warned.

**LINK:** www. fanfiction. net / s / 6929916/ 1 / Where_You_Belong **[**delete spaces**]**


	9. Chapter 8: Confusion

**_Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Ms. Meyer owns Twilight and all of its characters, no copyright violation is intended. References to real people, places and groups are used fictitiously. The plot is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization._**

**I love my Betas, LaMomo and Eifeltwr, and their sparkly red pens!  
>Dey make me sound all gud n stuff! ^_^<strong>

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 8: Confusion<strong>

* * *

><p>I got out of the elevator and walked to the living room. I could hear people talking in there as well as Felix's voice from the kitchen, no doubt asking if anyone wanted something to eat.<p>

"Hey, Rosalie. What's going on?" I asked as I hopped my way to the sofa where Rosalie and Sayuri were already sitting and chatting together.

Rosalie smiled and patted the seat next to her. I shrugged and plopped myself beside her, setting my crutches on the floor under the coffee table. Just as Rosalie was about to say something, Bella walked in, followed by Jacob and Emmett, who were eating what I assumed was all the food from the fridge.

"Jesus Christ! Did you leave us anything eatable in my kitchen, guys?" I mocked.

Both of them grinned with their mouth full and we all gagged at the sight.

"Mommy used to say that all growing boys need lots of food," said Sayuri absentmindedly while playing with Rosalie's hair.

We all froze at Sayuri's comment. It was the first time she had ever mentioned her mom in any way. She had talked about her dad and grandparents a bit, but nothing about her mom. Carlisle said that it was normal, because her mom was the one person Sayuri missed the most. She hadn't ever really been close to her dad, Carlisle said his sister complained how he worked all the time and never really made time for his own daughter. Also. before the accident, Sayuri was home schooled, so she was always with her mom until right before that night.

Her grandparents tried to take Sayuri to a grief counselor, but the little girl refused to speak to strangers. Carlisle didn't really see the need for it. He realized that what the little girl needed the most was a family to help her feel safe and loved again. That was why we all tried to include her when the gang got together. We were like the big brothers and sisters she never had. I also knew that every weekend after her ballet classes, Carlisle always made time to go out just the two of them. We were all trying to become the family that Sayuri lost. I even put a photo of her mom in a frame here on the living room, which she whispered a tender 'good morning' to every day.

The still moment was broken by Emmett's booming laugh.

"This girl is awesome, and she totally gets it!" Emmett smiled (sans food, thank God) and lifted his fist, which Sayuri shyly bumped.

Sayuri's giggles defused any remaining tension and made us all smile wide.

Rosalie winked at Emmett and turned to look at me, "You know how the Dean asked me to perform a song for the Alumni's Dinner Gala?"

I smiled. "Yes, Bella told me over spring break. Congratulations."

"Thank you, Teddy."

Rosalie and I had been friends since we were in third grade. We met at the USDAN Summer Music Camp. I was in the Classical Piano Program and she was in in Orchestra Program, but we bonded because we were usually the only kids that actually spent extra hours practicing. We had always been passionate with our music, but as I grew up, music became something more like a hobby for me. The passion to play was still there, but nothing like it was for Rosalie. She lived and breathed music. When she changed her violin for a cello, her parents weren't sure about it, but once she started playing, we knew that we were watching something special. She was an extremely talented cellist.

That was why it was no surprise to me when the Dean had asked her to perform a song at the Gala, which was held the night before the actual graduation ceremony. It was hosted by the School's Alumni Board for the graduates, their immediate family and selected guests. It was a very formal affair, completely different from Prom, which the students celebrate the weekend before. I knew Rosalie was struggling to come up with the right song, and with graduation quickly approaching, the pressure to find the right song was weighting down on her more and more with every day that goes by.

"Have you found a song, yet?" I asked, thinking perhaps she was about to ask me to perform a duet with her.

Bella snorted and Rosalie glared at her.

I furrowed my brows in confusion, "Am I missing something?"

Bella rolled her eyes and pointed at Rosalie, "She had been dragging me all over the city the entire afternoon!"

"Well, if you hadn't come up with that fuu-uh-udging theme for our graduation, I wouldn't have struggled with finding a song!" ranted Rosalie, a blush creeping up her face for her almost slip.

I snorted at her expression and quickly checked to see if Aunt Tanya was around.

We all tended to cuss too much, and since Carlisle asked us to please tone it down for Sayuri's sake, we really tried to avoid it. Unfortunately, Emmett and Jacob weren't as sensible as the rest of us. They dropped the f-bomb entirely too much. Aunt Tanya finally put an end to it by setting up a swear jar. Each curse had a hefty price, the f-bomb being the highest at $50. Suffice to say, Emmett and Jacob put in almost $500 that first day.

Aunt Tanya came to the room from the kitchen and eyed us suspiciously.

"Bed time, pretty girl," she said to Sayuri, who nodded and gave a good night kiss and an extra hug to everyone. Aunt Tanya took Sayuri by the hand, and just before they exited, she turned back to Ro, "You still owe $30 to the swear jar, Rosalie!"

Emmett and Jacob snickered.

Rosalie huffed, "Shut up! This is your fault!"

Bella pushed Jacob, "She is right, you know?"

I laughed at Jacob's guilty expression.

Bella never wanted to become class president, but in a joke orchestrated by Jasper and Emmett (and no doubt Jacob's hacking skills), she won the position by a very long shot. To this day, no one had never been able to prove how those three cheated.

So, with Bella as our class president, she was in charge of all the social events. She always had meetings with the rest of elected students, faculty and alumni after school and it took a lot of her time, but she took the position with grace and responsibility. All members of the student council had a say when it came to prom, but Bella was the one to put forth the ideas and suggestions.

Rosalie shook her head, "I meant you, Bella!"

"Well, excuse me for trying to be original!"

"B, it's effing prom! You don't have to be original! It's supposed to be cliché!"

"I want it to be special, not cliché!"

"Right, 'cause last year's theme was so freaking original!"

"It was!"

"The casino theme had been done a million times!"

"It was not a casino theme! IT WAS MONTE CARLO!"

We all watched back and forward between the girls with wide eyes. It was like watching a tennis match.

"Hold on!" I waved my hands around, stopping the discussion for a moment. "What's this year's prom theme?"

Bella sighed, "You're not supposed to know until Wednesday."

"Aw… C'mon, Bella!"

"Well, the committee decided on a Japanese theme. That's all I'm going to say."

"Okay…" I turned back to Rosalie, "So, what's the problem?"

Rosalie huffed, "The problem, Mister, was that I couldn't find a solo piece with that theme!"

I frowned. "I thought you'd be playing with a quartet…"

Rosalie motioned with her hand for Bella to explain.

Bella grimaced a little "Well, with the economy the way it is, we have a smaller budget to work with than last year's. With the carnival in two weeks, we're gonna have just enough to cover prom and graduation if we do things like in past years. The problem was finding money for the Gala. The caterers will be paid from the Dean's own pocket, but the committee needs to pay for decorations, venue and the like."

"Why not have a charity event, like an auction?" asked Jacob. "That's what we did at my school. We contacted famous alumni and asked them to donate something like signed stuff or travel packages."

Bella thought for a minute, "We could organize that. I'll check with the committee on Monday. Thanks, Jakey." Bella kissed Jacob's cheek as he went back at eating the mountain of food on his plate. "Anyways, because of the budget restriction, I had to find a way to cut back on expenses. I asked Rosalie if she was okay performing solo, since the school orchestra is already booked, she said it was fine!"

Rosalie sighed and nodded. "I'm fine with it, but the theme is giving me a headache. You see the problem, don't you, Edward?"

I nodded, pursing my lips and thinking about it. "You need a song to reflect the occasion and the night's theme."

"Exactly! That's why I went today with Bella to the flower market, to see if I could find inspiration! Bella was talking with one of the vendors when I saw some pretty cherry blossoms. Bella commented how Sayuri's mom had a cherry tree in her garden and that's when it hit me!"

"What hit you?"

She gave me a bewildered look, "Sayuri!"

I still had no idea what she was talking about. "What about her?"

"Don't you see, Edward? Her name? Doesn't it ring any bells?" gushed Rosalie.

I shrugged, still not knowing what she was talking about.

"Memoirs of a Geisha?"

"Oh!" I exclaimed, understanding what Rosalie meant. "The soundtrack! John Williams and-"

"Yo Yo Ma!"

"So you are thinking of playing a song from the original score?"

"Yes, I was looking for the music - I went to that shop we found in Brooklyn."

I laughed, "I bet you loved that, Bella!"

She growled.

"You are such a snob!" teased Rosalie.

"No, I'm not! I just prefer this side of the bridge, thank you very much."

"Leave my girl alone," piped in Jacob, hugging Bella to his chest like he was trying to protect her from us. "She is a girl that knows what she wants, and I respect that. Otherwise, I would have already begged for her to move with me to Massachusetts."

Bella smiled sadly and kissed her boyfriend tenderly.

After the summer, Bella, Rosalie and I were going to share and apartment together while Emmett and Jacob went to MIT. It was going to be hard for the girls to be so far from their significant others, but they were so proud of their boys. I was sure they were going to find a way to make it work. I would definitely miss the guys, but hopefully I would have my own guy to think about by then.

_One can dream, right?_

Rose snorted and rolled her eyes, "Anyways, I want you to perform with me that night. Your cast will be long gone by then."

I sat back, trying to do the math in my head. I had four more weeks with the cast, which will put me at the end of April until I was finally cast free, prom was in May, so that gave me a little less than a month to build up my strength again.

"Let me ask my doc, Rosalie," I finally said.

"Okay, thanks Teddy,"

"No problem, Ro."

* * *

><p>"One more time, please!" begged Rosalie.<p>

I sighed, "I'm tired Ro, I can feel my leg pulsing!"

She rolled her eyes at me, "You are such a whiner!"

I gave her my teary sad eyes, which, according to Sayuri, rivaled Puss in Boots.

"Ugh! You are impossible!"

I held the look for a little more, knowing she was about to crack.

She huffed, "Fine, but Monday morning bright and early, mister. I'll be here at six o'clock."

"Holy shit, Rosalie! Are you trying to kill me?"

She grinned and blew me a kiss.

Here I thought going back to school was going to be the scariest thing I had to face this week.

_Boy… I was wrong!_

School was actually fine.

Everyone pretty much let me be and I felt comfortable during classes since I was always with one of the gang, especially Bella. I had most of my classes with her. The hallways were okay too, I had a small anxiety at the beginning of my first day back when I had to retrieve my book for my second period class and Demetri came to me to ask me about Riley. At first, I thought he was going to be all pissed at me for sending his boyfriend to jail and shit, but he told me he hadn't seen Riley for two months. I was surprised by this.

What he told me next shocked me even more.

"_Edward, I didn't know Ry was in a relationship with you, but when I found out, the damaged was already done and you had already broken things off with him. I know that is no excuse for what he-" he sighed. "No, what _we_ did to you, but I never really meant to hurt you. I am deeply sorry for that." He chuckled with no real humor, "I thought I was in love with him and I was stupid enough to believe he loved me too. When that awful article came out, I thought he only did it because you pissed him off. But then, about two months ago, he came to my place high as a kite. My parents freaked out, so I gave him an ultimatum."_

_I closed my locker and leaned against it, "What kind of ultimatum?"_

_Demetri sighed and cracked his knuckles in a nervous gesture, "I… I told him he had to choose between me and the drugs." He bit his lips and his eyes tear up a little bit, "I guess we know his decision, no?"_

"_I'm so sorry Demetri-"_

"_Dimas, Edward. You can call me Dimas."_

_I smiled, "Dimas… I'm sorry you got tangled in Riley's web. I think you were pretty lucky he decided to let you go, otherwise, you would be the one walking with a cast or something worse."_

_Demetri shook his head, "You know, in spite of all the hurt and sorrow he spread, Riley was in essence not a rapist, never. I don't think he really meant to hurt you, Edward. He was broken and needed someone to help him put himself back together. When he decided to attack you, he decided to finally give up. You know more than anyone he was never sexually violent."_

_It was true._

_In spite of all Riley's faults, he always respected my boundaries; he never pushed me to go further in our physical relationship. He was possessive and a little aggressive, yes, but not violent and demanding._

_Still, what I went through let me with a lot of doubts about who Riley really was._

"_I'm sorry, Dimas. But I'm not sure if I believe that."_

_Demetri nodded, "I understand why you do not believe, but do not be surprised when you receive a letter from him."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_It is one of the steps of getting better: To make peace with your past."_

_He looked up at me and I understood._

_Riley was not the only one finally getting better._

My conversation with Demetri opened my eyes to what kind of person he really was. I felt like I had gained, perhaps not a close friend yet, but a friend none the less.

After that, the rest of the week went by without a hitch.

My doctor gave me the okay to play, but said I could only rehearse every two days with my cast still on, letting my knee and leg rest a day before going back to play. Rosalie practically tackle hugged me when I told her. Also, Coach Clapp excused me from gym for the rest of the year since I couldn't participate much. Unfortunately, Emmett needed extra credit for PE and now I have to do physical therapy with him instead, which is fine by me. We had already cleared all out about the gift joke and he was cool with me. He even admitted he deserved it, so no problems there. That didn't mean he wasn't a slave driver, I swear my arms still hurt from the workout we did on Thursday. If it wasn't for Rosalie asking him to go easy on me, I would be even sorer than I already was.

Rosalie started packing away her cello and I put the music sheets away, cracking my knuckles and stretching my fingers. I was really tired and I wanted to rest this weekend.

"Seriously, Rosalie, you don't need to practice more, you are already good. Please, let's just rest for a couple of days," I shamelessly begged. Monday was a holiday and I was going to sleep in even if it occurred to the wrath of Rosalie, dammit.

Rosalie picked up her cello case and the music, "Edward, this is important for me, please, I want to practice this piece more and I want to play it so when the teachers hear me, they'd ask themselves 'Yoyo Ma, who?'"

"Ugh! You are so annoying!"

"Tell you what, I'll come after lunch on Monday, but you've got to promise me to go through the piece completely and flawlessly at least one time."

"DEAL!" I practically yelled, knowing this compromise was as good as it was going to get with someone like Rosalie.

"See ya later, then," she ruffled my hair on the way out.

"Bye, Rose." I called after her.

I heard the front door close and I turned back to face the piano keys. I rarely had the opportunity to play the baby grand that we had in the living room, but I always made sure we had it tuned. This piano had been in the family for almost a century, my mom inherited from her great grandmother when she was only 6 years old.

Dad always told me that Mom could have become a great pianist, but when she went to college and volunteered to be part of a charity play, she discovered her love for acting. She changed her major from Music to Drama and the rest was history.

I heard the front for open and close followed by some giggling and my aunt's voice.

"_Hello! Anybody home?"_

"Piano, Aunt Tanya!" I hollered back.

Aunt Tanya entered the room, looking relaxed and happy, followed by a very energetic Sayuri, who, as soon as she saw me sitting at the piano, launched herself to me. After giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, she sat down next to me and started tinkling with the keys.

Aunt Tanya chuckled, "Oh, I see how it is now…"

"Awww… are you jealous?"

Sayuri giggled.

"And you missy," I turned to Sayuri, who now had a deer caught in the headlights look, "I should be jealous too. You seem to have a lot of love for this piano!"

Sayuri gasped. "Nu-uh, I like you more, Teddy!"

I gave Tanya a smug smile.

"But Miss Tanya is the best!"

My smile completely faded as Tanya threw her head back and starting laughing her ass off.

"Sayu-chan!" I exclaimed and put a hand on my chest, "you wound me…"

Sayuri giggled more. I pretended to cry until she gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I took the opportunity to tickle her until she had tears running down her cheeks.

We spent the rest of the afternoon on the piano as I taught Sayuri how to play and munching on chocolate and peanut butter cookies with cold milk.

Later that night, after a big dinner made by Tanya and Felix, I got a call from mom. She asked a bunch of questions about my knee and school and told me she wasn't sure she was gonna make it for prom, but she would do everything in her power to make it possible. I assured her that I was fine, that if she couldn't make I would understand, as long as she made it for graduation.

"_Are you taking your meds like the doctor told you?"_

I suppressed my eye roll and tried to not sound annoyed, "Yes, mom."

"_Is Emmett being nice to you? Tell him not to push you too hard or I'll kick his ass!"_

I grinned, picturing my tiny mother against Emmett.

"He's being rather pushy… but he means well."

"_And Carlisle? You have no idea how happy it makes me that he is there for you, Teddy."_

_You and me, both! But for different reasons, though. _I thought.

"_He is such a nice guy, and I bet he is taking good care of you, right?"_

I smiled, "Yes, mom. Seriously, everything is fine."

Mom groaned, _"I could kill your father, this is entirely his fault! If he had kept the last set we would have been on schedule and I would have been able to visit you."_

"Aw, mom, don't worry. I am FINE!"

"_I just want to hug you, Teddy. You will always be my little boy, no matter how tall you get!"_

I chuckled, "And you will always be my mom, no matter if I have to do some stuff on my own, because I know you care."

My mom sniffed on the other side of the line, "_Oh Teddy… I can't bear to think that if it wasn't for Jacob and Carlisle…"_

"Mom, STOP! Please, just stop torturing yourself; I have a good team of people here taking care of me, and another great team at the hospital making sure I have no problems, both physically and mentally."

She signed, _"You were always far more mature for your age, but still, honey, I'm your mom! I should be there hugging you and making it all better!"_

I chuckled again, missing my mom. "You'll be back soon, and then you can fuss about me all you want!"

Mom giggled, _"I hope you are not pushing yourself too much, okay?"_

"I promise, mom."

A timid knock on my door caught my attention. I looked up to see Carlisle standing just outside my open door.

I motioned for him with my free hand to come in, "Hey, mom, Carlisle is here. Can I call-"

"_Oh good! Put him on the phone!"_

"Um… okay." I handed Carlisle the phone and he took it gladly.

They talk for a few more minutes, Carlisle confirming everything I'd already said, plus adding a few things about Sayuri and his new job.

Carlisle had gotten a teaching job at Cornell; he was a guest professor and taught third year med students. He was also an attending at the university's hospital, working in the ER.

"Of course, Elizabeth, no problem. I'll talk to you soon. Tell Ted I said 'hello'."

He disconnected the call and gave me back my phone.

Carlisle sat on the edge of the bed, next to my legs, "Your mom misses you a lot."

I shrugged, "There's nothing she can do without breaching her contract and getting sued. She already sent Aunt Tanya here, which is more than enough. Felix is here, he makes sure I eat healthy and takes me to school and then… there's you. You pretty much are my personal doctor, Carlisle."

He smiled and grabbed my hand, "I hope I'm more than just a doctor to you, Edward."

"I… Carlisle… You know how I feel."

Ever since Carlisle's confession, I'd been giving a lot of thought about my feeling towards him, and in the mean time we had reached a sort of impasse. Though, it didn't escape my notice how he always made time to talk to me every night after he got home from work, or the touches and kisses he gave me every now and then. He was respecting my boundaries and, at the same time, he was letting me know that he was ready to explore whatever it was that we discovered back in Tokyo under that sakura tree.

I knew that I was in love him; there was no doubt about that. I knew people would say that'd be impossible since I barely knew him, but I couldn't ignore what my heart was screaming at me every time he was close. The problem was the hurt he caused me. When he first rejected me and then ignored me, it fucking hurt so much. So, here I was… in love with a man that was a mystery to me and afraid to open myself up to him after everything that happened.

I was so freaking confused.

Carlisle squeezed my hand, "Hey… I do. I just… Hold on." He toed off his shoes and moved so we were sitting against the headboard, our shoulders touching and hands clasped together. "I miss you, Edward. I feel like we are so far away, and I know that it's my fault and I want to make it right, but I'm stucked, not knowing how you are gonna react."

"Carlisle, I-"

"Wait, let me say this." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I know I hurt you, but you need to know that I was scared."

I shook my head, confused by what he was saying. "What were you scared of?"

He sighed and rested his head back against the headboard."I was scared of these feelings I have for you. It's been a long time since I felt like this and let's just say that the last time I did, that relationship ended badly. I was hurt and felt guilty after our fallout and I just focused more on my career." He turned his head to look at me, his eyes shining with an emotion I couldn't name. "I admit my moving to New York was to leave all those bad memories behind. I wanted to start over and I needed to get myself together, not only for me, but for Sayuri as well. She's my number one priority, Edward. Ever since I got the call from the lawyers telling me about the accident and how Sayuri lost both of her parents that night… I was devastated, but I had to focus on making it right for her, to give her the family my sister wanted for her. And then, I saw you…"

"More like I fell on you," I chuckled.

He laughed and shook his head, "No, I saw you… here in New York."

"What? When? How?"

Carlisle laughed harder at my bewildered expression and sat up, turning his body to face me fully. "I was scouting homes when I stopped at a deli to grab some lunch. It had been raining a little bit and the weather was kind of cold. I had just sat down to eat when I saw this beautiful young man with wild auburn hair and striking green eyes standing outside, lips pursed and completely focused in typing on his mobile."

I gaped at him, "You mean to tell me you saw me before we met in Tokyo?"

He nodded, "Yeah… You were wearing a brown leather jacket and then a pretty brunette came over and hugged you. I thought she was your girlfriend, so I just admired you from a distance while you two talked."

"That must've been Bella… Oh my God! Is that why you were cold towards her when you got here?"

He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, "Maybe."

"Aww… you were jealous!"

"Shut up."

I giggled, I couldn't help it. "I can't believe it! You were jealous of Bella… BELLA!"

"I wasn't even sure if you were gay! You could've been bisexual and two timing for all I knew!"

I laughed harder, "I can believe you! After we kissed and you felt what you did to me, you actually thought I could be with Bella?"

He pushed me down, making me laugh even harder. "I didn't know! Stop laughing!"

"Oh my God! I can't wait to tell Bells… In fact, I'll call her now!"

"Don't you dare!"

Before I could even dial the number, he launched himself at me. The phone fell and skittered across the floor. I didn't have time to react before he started tickling me. I threw my head back, laughing so hard. It was like his fingers were everywhere.

"Promise you won't tell her!"

"NE-NEVER!"

I tried pushing him away, but he was so fucking strong. He grabbed both of my wrists in one hand and set them over my head while he continued tickling me with his other hand.

"O-okay! Hahaha… Uncle! Uncle!"

He stopped tickling me. "Promise!" he demanded

I was panting and a few chuckles escaped from me. "I promise to not tell her."

_I could always type an email…_

"You don't fool me, Mr. Masen. You won't mention this to her in any type of form of communication."

I thought for about a minute, but it seemed like it was a minute too long for Carlisle went back tickling me.

"OKAY! OKAY! HAHAHAHAHA! I PROMISE! I PROMISE!"

He stopped again and let go of my wrists.

It was in that moment that I noticed the position we were in.

Carlisle was hovering closely over me, his hands flat at each side of my head. The room suddenly felt warmer as I looked into Carlisle's eyes and then down to his lips. I couldn't help but to lick mine in want.

Carlisle's breath hitched and with the back of his fingers traced my cheekbones, down my jaw until he was cupping my face. His eyes were so intense and I felt my cheeks growing warm. I closed my eyes at the same time I felt his forehead touch mine.

"Edward..."

Carlisle's hand slid through my hair until it cradled the back of my neck. We were so close, our chest almost touching. I gripped the front of his shirt, pulling him towards me without realizing what I was doing. I stopped thinking some minutes ago. I leaned my head back against his hand, opening my eyes looking up at his gorgeous face. My mind scrambled to say something, but it was like I'd lost the ability to speak.

We were inches apart and then he sighed, his warm breath on my face.

I felt dizzy.

Intoxicated.

"Kiss me," I asked in a whisper.

Carlisle opened his eyes and searched mine. I nodded, knowing somehow what he was asking. He slowly leaned down, his nose touching mine. I closed my eyes and lifted my face, feeling the faintest brush of our lips. I felt all the blood leave my brain and go south. His grip on the back of my neck tightened slightly. I couldn't escape, not that I would want to.

I pressed my lips gently to his, gripping his shirt tighter in my trembling fingers. He quickly responded, adding more pressure, moving his head slightly to the side. Tentatively, I traced the outline of your lips with the tip of my tongue and he moaned. My heart took off, beating faster than before. I felt him pulling me closer by his grip at the back of my neck at the same time I pulled him down to me by his shirt. His body felt so good against mine, we fit together perfectly. I gently sucked his bottom lip and nibbled it lightly, eliciting a deep groan from him.

I pulled back and looked up at Carlisle. His eyes were closed, his breathing was hard. I felt his restraint slipping. Mine was long gone. He whispered something under his breath, something I couldn't make out, then shook his head. His arm around my waist pulled me to him roughly, quickly. His mouth crushed mine, no longer gentle, no longer tentative. He tongue demanded entry and I happily granted it.

I moaned, feeling his tongue exploring inside my mouth. My hands gripping his hair, I didn't even remember how they got there. He ground his hips down against mine. I could feel his hardening length though his slacks. We both groaned at the contact and then all restraint went out the window. We started making out wildly and dry humping like there was no tomorrow. He grabbed one of my legs up and secured around his waist, opening me up to him.

I lifted my hips, grounding myself up to him, when suddenly a sharp pain shot through my other leg.

"Ow ow ow… SHIT!"

"What's wrong?"

I hissed as the pain on my knee intensified.

Carlisle quickly moved, dropping my leg back on the bed and checking my knee to see it I had done some damage. "Breathe, Edward. I think you only twisted it a bit."

"Fuck! It hurts."

"I know… just breathe for me, sweet boy."

I did as he asked, and after a couple of minutes I felt the pain retreating, leaving my knee throbbing a little.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I heard Carlisle sighed. "I shouldn't have-"

"Don't you dare apologize for that kiss, Carlisle. That was the second best kiss ever."

He chuckled, "The second best?"

I smiled and opened my eyes. He was kneeling between my legs, his arms crossed over his chest.

I chuckled, "Yes, the first place goes to the one we had in Tokyo."

A wide grin spread across his face, making my breath hitch.

He leaned down on all fours and crawled up my body, then planted one last kiss on my lips, before rolling over and sitting at the edge of my bed. "In that case, I'm okay with it."

I chuckled and then groaned when the movements made my leg throb harder.

"Now that, I'm truly sorry. I should've been more careful with you."

I shook my head, "Hey, it's okay. Besides, it was kind of my fault. I had forgotten about it."

"Did you take something for the pain?"

"Yeah, two Ibuprofen after dinner."

"Well, if the pain gets too much, let me know. Okay?"

"Sure, sure."

Carlisle put his shoes back on, "Well, then… I'm gonna see if I have something stronger for you."

"I rather not take anything like that just yet."

"Edward…"

"If I'm still I pain in the morning, I'll take the stronger pill, okay?"

"Okay." He stood up made his way the door,

"Hey! Don't I get a good night kiss?" I called back to him before he could leave.

Carlisle laughed and turned around. He gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"Good night, Carlisle."

"Sweet Dreams, my sakura boy."

I managed to get under the sheets without jostling my knee. I turn off the light from my lamp and slouched back against the pillows. I was so hard, the kiss had all wired up, but I was also very tired. I decided to just let it go and tried to find sleep, but my mind was all over the place. That had been the first time Carlisle and I really kissed since Tokyo, and like the last time, it was like a shock ran through me making me lose all self-control.

Would it always be like this?

God, I hoped so…

I was getting back to that place I started from where I was before my trip to Tokyo, though Carlisle's addition to my life was most welcome. He was letting those sharp edges be filed down, and I think that maybe I was, too. Maybe we'd both done some growing over our time together.

Two months ago I would have insisted I was fully formed; now it wasn't so hard to see that maybe I still got a ways to go.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I'm sorry for the long wait, rest assured that I have no plans of abandoning my boys, but I must take a break. My health took a turn for the worst back in January and I need time to recover, so with a heavy heart I will put all my stories ON HIATUS until I know I'm back to full health again. Thanks for understanding and hope you enjoy this chapter. I will continue writing, but my health will come first now. I also kinda want to build up the chapters and then post them all in a row until it's complete. I have this story mapped out until chapter 25 and I'm aiming for 30, plus an epilogue.<strong>_

_**So, don't worry, I won't abandon my boys.**_

_**I promise.**_

_**xoxo**_

_**Mina**_

* * *

><p><strong>REC'S TIME!<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Lost Highway by Layne Faire ~ <strong>Former lovers, Carlisle and Edward go on a road trip to say goodbye to a beloved family member. This trip is filled with memories, laughter and tons of UST! GO CHECK IT OUT! It's amazing! And don't forget to review and leave her some love! **[ s/7571762/1/Lost_Highway]**


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